Andromeda Mass Effect: Friend or Foe?
by HotMezoti
Summary: Kathryn Ryder (a Janeway reference) and Jaal romance. Bumps and misunderstandings along the way. How could she be so attracted to a different species so quick? Trying to figure out where she stands with him is maddening. Lemony content. All characters owned by Bioware, or whatever they are calling themselves these days. Some dialog straight from the game for accuracy.
1. Chapter 1

Walking out of the Tempest alone with her arms up high in surrender, Kathryn Ryder held her breath, looking around at the shuttles, soldiers with guns, all aimed at her.

"Here goes nothing," she said under her breath. This was the navpoint they gave them, would it be a trap? Of course, they could have shot down her ship before they landed. Ten soldiers immediately surrounded her while one scanned her. Speaking in a language she'd never heard before, but found intriguing, she waited patiently. They slowly stepped aside and allowed her to walk with them down the dock. At the top of a set of stairs, was small greeting committee. She tried to think of what this experience must be like for them. With how the kett had treated them, she could understand their trepidation, but how much hostility would they have for her?

Governor Shie introduced herself, and Ryder responded "I'm a pathfinder with the initiative –"

"Yes, you crossed darkspace. I have heard of your journey." She interrupted.

Confused, Ryder was about to ask, then realized, of course, the exiles. They had probably encountered them on other worlds.

Suddenly a large Angaran pushed past Governor Shie despite her protests.

"Evfra saw the ship come in and sent me to find out what's going on." Jaal held up his hand.

Ryder unconsciously backed up, but tried to stand up her straightest as his hulking mass walked down and loomed over her. He stood very close to her, "Aya is protected. What do you want!"

She was distracted by his demeanor, the deep scar on the left side of his head, neck, something or other. She snapped to attention, "I apologize. Landing here, like we did without warning, on fire, was not the plan." Inside she winced. Her nerves got the better of her, and her thoughts spilled out without filter.

He was still very close and intimidating, "That's good to know. Because if it was," he paused and got closer, "That would be a very bad plan." He leaned in towards her, and gave her a smile. His face turned serious again, and he turned to Governor Shie.

She processed that for a second, _Wait, he just made a joke._ She relaxed a little, maybe this would go alright after all.

Governor Shie very sternly took her on a heavily guarded tour through the city. The tension increased with her conversation with Evfra. How could she possibly get him to trust her, let alone help her, a stranger, an invader, after Jaal's description of what the Kett did to the Angara?

"Arrogant!" Evfra spat out, "I don't know you, let alone trust you, why would I want your help?"

Ryder knew in her desperation to help find a home, she'd pushed too hard. She pulled back and looked down, "Of course." She let out a deep breath. Now what?

Jaal spoke up, "Evfra, I feel- Evfra, what this alien says is extraordinary. The Moshae would want us to be brave and not let this chance pass."

Ryder looked at him incredulously, he was actually helping her. He trusted her.

"Jaal, you talk too much." Evfra huffed.

She watched as Jaal put his rifle back in its holster.

"Let me assess this – alien. Let me be your eyes. I know you can spare me."

Evfra acquiesced, "Go if you want, but when she tries to kill you, be prepared to strike first." He walked away.

She stared at him in silence for a few moments. Her eyes wide.

Finally he said, "I'm Jaal Ama Darav. I'll be your envoy through Angaran space."

Stunned, she sputtered out, "Thank you for trusting me."

"I don't. But, I can always kill you in your sleep."

She smiled, "Good to know."

Back on board the Tempest, Jaal sat quietly to the side in the meeting room while her crew bickered, complained and stared at him. She was frustrated and embarrassed by their reaction, thankful she had gone out alone for first contact on Aya. Jaal stood up and gave them a brief history of the Kett and the horrors they inflict on the Angaran. Ryder explained their plan, turning to Jaal to help her out. He was successful in convincing the crew and getting them on board with their plan.

He didn't take the bait on their jabs about his motives, was calm and firm, but still helpful to her. She appreciated and admired that. He fascinated her.

Later she went to the lab to try and initiate a conversation with him in private. He had his back to her, working on some equipment.

"So…Jaal." She couldn't think of anything better to say.

"So." He said in his deep voice, and got up, turning to face her.

She swallowed hard, "We haven't had a chance to talk alone. You comfortable in here?"

"I took it. It feels strange to stay with the others. They're – you're – aliens."

"And, you're alien to us, so there. We have something in common." She smiled.

"We can look at it as a place to start."

"Got it."

He let out a small chuckle, "Perhaps then, if we're all aliens, it's about what kind of alien we are."

He impressed her. "You had no idea about us, but you signed up to help us anyway."

"Perhaps it had nothing to do with you."

She frowned, "Care to elaborate?"

"I do not."

There was an uncomfortable silence, and she realized she was perhaps asking for too much too soon. She changed the subject. "How do you know Moshae Sjefa?"

"She's our greatest mind on the Remnant. I was her student."

This keeps getting better, she thought, "You studied the remnant too?"

"Hmph, a little. I was terrible. I quit. Or, she threw me out, one of those. We're still very close."

His honesty surprised her, and she felt it strangely charming. Her mind went blank, but she wanted to keep talking to him. Grasping for a topic, she said, "So – is that your rifle?"

He looked at the bench. "It is now. It's kett. With my own modifications. I like to tinker. To get my hands on something and take it apart."

"That's a skill I know we can use. But I have one request. Please don't take apart my ship."

He laughed, and she felt relieved. "You're right. I signed up – volunteered – for this. It's…exciting."

He studied her closely, "There's something unique about you – uneasy, raw – but somehow profound."

She felt a little exposed by his accurate assessment of her, but was flattered. "Face value, that sounds like a compliment, a nice one."

"It is. Angara feel deeply. We have more trouble hiding our emotions than showing them." He looked around a little uneasily. "I should get back to my work."

"When we have down time, I'd love to watch you work."

"Sure, I could show everyone."

She took a risk, "Um, no, just us. So we can get to know each other better." She could feel a blush coming on, "Or just share a hobby."

"Oh, of course."

She could tell it went over his head. "Good, good." She stood awkwardly, tipping back and forth on her heels. He turned back to his work, and she walked back to her quarters. Once inside, she felt the full force of the blush on her cheeks. She hoped Angarans didn't know what that was. She shook her head. When she went in his quarters, she'd had no intention of flirting with him. Initially she was trying to be a pleasant ship captain and teammate. The more he talked, the more it was important to her to get to know him better.

"I've got to keep that in check," she said.

She made sure the ship had the appropriate supplies Jaal needed, per his detailed email, and she talked with the rest of the crew about the mission to Aya.

"So which planet do we go to first?" Cora asked.

"I'll have to ask Jaal which one he recommends."

"Putting him in charge now, kid?" Drack added.

"I'm still in charge of this mission, but I'm not hard headed enough to think I'm the expert on Voeld and Havarl."

"Exactly. A good pathfinder knows how to get the right intel." Cora turned and nodded at her.

"Get something to eat and some sleep. We're going to hit one of those planets tomorrow." She turned for the lift. Damn, it was going to be hard to corral so many strong-willed crew without setting them off.

In his new quarters, Jaal chided himself on being so open with her. It was against his nature to be otherwise. As he worked on his rifle, he shook his head. His people's future was too important to be so undisciplined. He could still hear Evfra's parting words with him, to be careful, to stay true and clear to his purpose.

Ryder tracked down Jaal, still working on whatever he was doing before. "Yes?"

"So, what's your story Jaal? Tell me about yourself." God, again something lame. Hopefully he didn't see it that way.

"Why." He said flatly.

This wasn't going so well. "Well, why wouldn't you?" she tried to goad him into saying something, "You hiding something?"

"Maybe. That would only make sense."

She thought maybe if she started. "I was born on Earth. Third planet in the Sol system in the Milky Way."

"Hm. That's interesting. Thank you."

She was perplexed, he'd seemed so much friendlier earlier.

"That's enough, until we've established a better trust with each other." He turned back to his work.

"Okay. I understand." She turned to go, then turned back, "I wanted to get your opinion on which planet you thought we should start with. You're the expert."

"Hm. Yes. I believe we should start on Voeld. It is the headquarters of the Angaran resistance."

She nodded, "I agree. We'll start there tomorrow. Get some rest. If you need anything, you can email me, or you can come by my quarters. Anytime, really, it's okay." Damn, blushing starting again. She turned quickly and went down to her room. She put her cool hands on her hot cheeks. "Shit," she was taken aback by how strong her attraction was to him, it made no sense. She just met the guy, and yes, he helped her out, but that wasn't any reason to go all ga-ga over him.

 _"_ _Pathfinder"_ Sam came into her thoughts.

"Yes, Sam."

 _"_ _I am reading a different reaction to Jaal and I have some questions-"_

"Let's establish something clear upfront, Sam. Any thoughts, actions or anything else I do that is of a personal or romantic nature is not a topic for your comment or discussion with me unless I specifically ask you, do you understand?"

 _"_ _Yes, Pathfinder."_

Jesus, it was hard enough trying to figure this out without an AI wanting to put its two cents in.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next week, she took Jaal with her on every mission, switching out the rest of the crew. She relied on him heavily for his insight, his expertise on the Kett, the remnant, and the Angara. She tried to keep her attraction to him in check, in private analyzing her feelings and thoughts. At first she thought it was just her fascination with a different species, but as she met more and more Angarans, she realized it was him specifically she liked.

"So where's this going, then?" she kept it to herself. The crew were all new to her, and while it was her personality to be open and upfront about her frustrations, her thoughts or concerns about people or the mission, she kept closed up about her personal life.

She had awkward encounters with Liam, who seemed to continually be asking to talk with her, while coincidentally keeping his shirt off and doing some sort of workout in his room. She was absolutely not interested, and although he was pretty harmless, she found him annoying with his self-serving frustration with the new galaxy and way the aliens reacted to their presence.

"We are the strangers here, Liam."

"Ugh, I know, I just – this is supposed to be home, you know? I need something familiar."

She squelched the urge to say he should have packed his favorite blanket. "Look, give it time. Don't make this any harder by being impatient."

He nodded, his hands on his hips. He looked up at her with a lopsided grin, "Got some time? Would you like a beer?"

She'd been distracted by looking at his greasy nose. Why did he never take care of that? It looks really bad. "Um, not now, sorry."

He looked disappointed, and flopped down on his couch. "Some other time, then."

She barely concealed a grimace. "Yeah." She walked away. That nasty ass couch looked like she would catch a disease just sitting on it. She shuddered as she walked out and into the main docking bay. Did he seriously think he was tempting? It was like watching a frat boy who thought he was a ladykiller. "Not if he was the last human male in the Heleus cluster."

She spotted Jaal working on some equipment. She brightened and walked over to him. He reluctantly agreed to her asking questions about his species. Fascinated by their electromagnetic capabilities, she asked him about it. They seemed related to biotics, which had always fascinated her as well. He claimed ignorance, and when she pressed him, he asked her how her eyeballs worked. She excitedly told him how the retina forms images, and finishing her explanation, was glad he was taking an interest in humans.

"You took my sarcasm as an invitation to show off. Pitiful." He sniffed.

She swallowed hard. She often took what people said at face value. High functioning Aspergers, she'd been told. She felt her heart sink. Not the impression she wanted to make. Wanting to make him forget that, she tried a compliment about how open the Angara are with their feelings.

"We're certainly not ashamed with our feelings." Jaal said, surprised.

He was pretty free with letting her know he was not impressed with her.

Feeling she had nothing left to lose, she chatted with him some more, about their planets, their religion.

Asking him about Moshae Sjefa, she was taken aback by his declaration of love for her. _Fuck, that's why he thinks I'm an idiot for trying to flirt with him._

"Really, so like one of those professor – student things?" she tried to hide her disappointment.

He laughed heartily, "Not that way. She is 115 of your years old."

Relieved, she continued, asking him about the Kett. They were so busy fighting them in the field, that she hadn't had time for an in-depth conversation about them with him.

"It's difficult. I may get emotional."

She wasn't sure how that would go, but pressed him for more information. He described for her the experience of his friends, family disappearing, how the Kett presented themselves as allies, then ruthlessly struck their civilization. He never lost his cool, his admonition he might get emotional not coming to fruition, thankfully.

"Talk to you later, Jaal."

She focused the next days on advancing the mission and on the rest of her crew, spending time getting to know them, their personal concerns. She found herself drawn to a friendship with Cora. Being her second, she was naturally protective of Ryder, and she found her to be trustworthy. Her ardent and annoying worship of all things Asari and huntress aside, she had a good mind and was an excellent sounding board for Ryder's thoughts on the mission.

"We need to attack that Kett base on Voeld tomorrow," Ryder leaned back on the chair in Cora's quarters.

"Agreed. I don't like the way we have to do things, but I know we have to prove ourselves to Evfra."

Ryder nodded.

"So are you taking Peebee with you? She's been begging to go out on a mission. Something about collecting more remnant tech."

Ryder frowned. She'd felt awkward about her since Peebee made a pass at her in her quarters. " _No strings attached_." She'd said. She was so forward, it had been shocking.

"Um, I'm not sure. I think I'd rather take Drack. He can handle the cold better." She took a drink.

"Huh, if you say so."

Ryder studied Cora. She wanted to confide in her more, but didn't know her well enough yet to trust her with personal information. She took another drink.

"You know, I think she likes Jaal."

Ryder nearly spit out her water, "What?"

Cora leaned forward and nodded. "I overheard her talking to Gil about him. Said she wondered if Asari could mate with their species, like they can the Turians and the Krogan."

Ryder felt sick in the pit of her stomach. "She's just asking about the Angaran in general."

"Nope. Gil told her she should go for it. She said she would."

Ryder looked down. "I can't imagine he would go for someone like her."

Cora furrowed her brows, "Why not?"

Ryder let out a frustrated grunt, "She's a walking crotch. Is there anyone on board she hasn't propositioned?"

"Well, she hasn't propositioned me. Come to think of it, that's a bit strange considering how much time I've spent with Asari huntresses."

"That's because you're too straight-laced. She thinks you're stuck-up."

Cora raised her eyebrows, "Really?"

Ryder regretted saying that, "Um –"

"I don't know if I should be glad, or insulted."

Ryder looked down. She thought back to conversations Peebee had had with Jaal in the Nomad. She had seemed a bit flirty, but he hadn't really responded.

"Wait – did she proposition you?" Cora asked her.

Ryder said nothing, but gave her a look.

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was pretty much in my face. I had to literally peel her off of me." Ryder said.

"Damn."

"Yeah, exactly." Looking at her omni-tool, Ryder got up and stretched. "I'd better turn in. You want to come with tomorrow on Voeld?"

"Nah, too cold." Cora gave her a sideways smile.

Ryder chuckled. "Gotcha, see you later." She stopped at the door and turned back, "Hey, um, don't say anything about what we talked about, okay?"

Cora's expression turned serious, "Kathryn, you are the pathfinder. I am your second. I am sworn to protect and support you in every and any way possible. That extends past the missions. I know it's hard for you, being thrown in this position like you were. I'm here for you, and everything we talk about is confidential. You can count on me."

Ryder smiled, "Thanks, Cora."

"Anytime."

She left, walking back to her quarters, thinking about what a good person Cora was. To be so generous, so kind after she could have easily been jealous and bitter about not becoming the pathfinder after Ryder's dad died. All those years of training, and she continued in her position as second, just as devoted as before. That showed a lot of character and integrity.

Ryder continued working steadily on the missions ahead – more vaults, more PR between species. She felt she was deepening her friendship with Jaal, and earning his trust. It wasn't easy, but as time went by and he continued to see her true character and motives, he opened up more and more. Rescuing the Moshae made big strides, and Jaal became her biggest supporter.

She gave up trying to keep her deepening feelings for him in check. It was too late, with each passing day she looked more and more forward to any time spent with him. She found herself focusing on her combat skill accuracy just so she could hear him call out his praise to her, "Impressive!", "Excellent shot!". She grinned underneath her helmet.

Walking through the ship, she was dismayed to overhear Jaal compliment Peebee on her eyes. She felt hot with anger when she heard Peebee's flirtatious response. Remember, _Anagara are more expressive_ , she told herself, and tried to dismiss it.

On Kadara the next day, she couldn't seeing Peebee flirt with one of the Turians at Kralla's song. Later on the Tempest, she went to her quarters.

"Hey Ryder, what's up?"

She leaned against the metal wall, her arms folded in front of her, "I just wanted to talk to you about Jaal."

"Um-hmm, what about him?"

Ryder cleared her throat, "I just don't think you should be messing around with his feelings, that's all."

"What?" Peebee put her hand on her hip.

"Look, I know you aren't serious about him. You came on to me hard, and I see you doing it to a lot of people. That's your thing, and that's fine. I just don't think you should be trying that with him. We have a responsibility as representatives of the Milky Way to be a good example. He's been through a lot, and he doesn't deserve to have you play around with his emotions. Angarans are very emotional."

Peebee listened patiently with a smile at the corner of her lips, "Uh-huh," and rolled her eyes and turned her back to her.

"Wait a minute, I'm serious."

"Oh, I know you're serious, Ryder."

Ryder huffed, "There are diplomatic repercussions here –"

Peebee spun around and held her hand up, "I get it, I get it. Just at least have the decency to be honest with me."

"I am," Ryder protested.

"Really," Peebee said sarcastically, "Jaal is a big boy. He can take care of himself. He's interested in Asari. You know he spent time at the cultural center checking us out. He's asked me a lot of questions too."

Ryder pressed her lips tightly, "Okay."

Peebee got closer to her, "You're jealous. You're interested in him."

Ryder felt her anger rise, she opened her mouth to disagree, but closed it again.

"You're turning red, I knew I was right." Peebee backed off and chuckled, "Look, I get it. You don't have to worry about me. You're interested in a relationship with him, and that's ok. I'm not, so I'll back off. He's not the only Angaran, or other person out there." She put her hand on Ryder's shoulder. "He's all yours. I won't upset you by confusing the situation. He's not worth it to me."

"I, uh," Ryder stuttered.

"I'm your friend too, you know. Don't underestimate me. I would never troll somebody's crush just for fun."

Ryder put her hand to her head, "Was I that obvious?"

"Um, no, not really. I wondered, but when you came in with that bullshit story about diplomatic relations, I figured it out. I'll keep it to myself." She smiled.

"Sorry, Peebee, if I insulted you."

She waved her off, "It takes a lot more than that to insult me. I'd give you a tip, though, I don't think he has a clue that's how you feel. You're too subtle. If you don't let him know, you might lose your chance."

"But I don't know if he feels the same way."

"Only one way to find out, right?" she gave her a sideways look, "Don't be a coward when it comes to your feelings."

"I'm not as bold as you, Peebee."

She laughed heartily, "No one is as bold as me. But being the shy schoolgirl isn't going to work either. Think about it. Now – if there's nothing else, I've got to get back to work on my project."

"Still won't tell me what you're working on?"

"Nope, get out."

Ryder turned for the door, "Thanks, Peebee."

"Anytime, Pathfinder."


	3. Chapter 3

Back in her quarters, Ryder thought over what Peebee had said. First she felt completely exposed now that Peebee knew her feelings for Jaal. She sat on her couch and leaned her forehead on her hand. She was pretty nice about it though, for Peebee. Saying she would back off. She didn't have to do that, she could have said Ryder couldn't tell her what to do, etc. She wondered if anyone else noticed anything. Suddenly it occurred to her, this was exactly what Peebee had warned her about. If no one could tell, then she was doing it wrong. If she really wanted a relationship with him, then guess what – other people would find out. She huffed and threw herself back on the couch, holding her arms up over her head.

She knew when she was talking to Jaal in private, she always tried to compliment him as much as possible, be positive. It was easy to do, she felt like she couldn't say enough good things about him. "Ok. I've got to come out and say it." Just the thought of it made her heart race with anxiety.

She'd had a few relationships before, one for a year or so. She'd even had a short relationship with a Turian. But, no one really seemed to excite her like Jaal. She felt such a connection with him, and after the initial wariness had worn off, and he warmed up to her, it intensified to a degree she'd never felt with anyone else before. She knew Peebee was right, because she'd heard Jaal compliment Cora yesterday on being in shape, to which Cora had not been receptive. At what point will he find someone who is more receptive than Ryder was showing?

"Right." She determined to be more up front about how she felt.

Distracted by Nexus business the next day, she didn't have time to think about it anymore until later that night. She got herself some dinner and took it up to the conference table in the meeting room upstairs. The kitchen was so small, some of the crew had taken to eating there. At first she'd admonished them about crumbs, etc., then she gave up, realizing they needed a place they could all gather together and chill out. Vetra, Peebee and Drack were eating whatever stew he'd made that night.

She sat down next to Vetra and dug in. "Mm, Drack, this is good stuff."

"Yeah, got some good supplies on the Nexus today."

"I think you missed your calling, Drack." Vetra took another bite. "It's rare to find someone who can make food we can all eat that doesn't taste like ass."

Drack laughed heartily, "If I ever retire, I'll consider it."

They talked some more about different cuisines, and Ryder's mind wandered to Jaal, as it often did. She was startled to see him come up the stairs with food as well and sit next to her. Her heart jumped in her chest.

 _Pathfinder-_

"I'm fine, Sam." She said quietly. She smiled at Jaal, who took his turn complimenting Drack on the food.

"Any word from Akksul?" Ryder asked him.

"Not yet. I'm scouring my contacts."

"I was thinking of going to Kadara tomorrow. I've got to meet with Reyes." She looked over at Jaal who was staring at her. "What?"

"It's your – what is it called? Hair."

She instinctively put her hand up to her head, "What's wrong with it? Is there something in it?"

"No, I was just curious how you keep it up on the back of your head."

"You mean my ponytail?"

"It's a tail?"

Peebee laughed, Vetra looking over amused.

"No, I just put it back like that to keep it out of my face."

He reached his hand up and wrapped his fingers around the base of it, "It looks like a handle."

Peebee snorted, "It could be a handle."

"Shut up, Peebee." Ryder warned.

The rest of the team roared with laughter.

Jaal tugged back very slightly, then let go. "I find it interesting."

Ryder turned beet red while the crew kept giggling.

"It is very attractive. I – like it." Jaal smiled and continued to eat his meal.

"I suppose it is different, Angarans don't have hair."

He changed the subject, and they talked about the recent missions while they ate. The next day ship repairs temporarily kept them at the Nexus. Playing referee between Gil and Kallo, again, Ryder went back to her quarters to regroup. Missions and tactical decisions, she found came more naturally to her. Managing a crew of disparate personalities was the biggest challenge. She was younger and less experienced than most of them, and felt like a pretender, being the captain and telling them what to do. She had no choice, she was in charge, but she felt uneasy, constantly questioning her decisions in her mind.

 _Pathfinder, you have new email from Cora._

"Thank you Sam."

She started to sit down at her table, then decided to go see Jaal. She freshened up her hair and makeup and as she went to the door Sam interrupted her.

 _Pathfinder, I am concerned. When you see Jaal, your heart rate and blood pressure rise slightly. Perhaps you should see Dr. T'Perro._

She smiled and shook her head, "That's just being human and being attracted to him. It's normal."

 _I did not know that physical reaction was a result. Thank you, Pathfinder._

She took a deep breath and went to the tech lab. Inside, she looked around at the different projects he was working on. He wasn't there. He'd offered to let her watch him work, and had a particularly interesting project on his work table. She peered over it – more modifications to his kett weapon. She sat down on his cot next to it. She ran her hands over the sheets and lifted one up. It smelled like him, and she felt excited by that. She liked being in his room, but resisted the urge to snoop.

"Sam, where is Jaal?"

 _He is in the bathroom._

"Oh, then I'll wait here." She sat on the bed and looked around the room some more. She lay down on his bed, reveling in the sensation of having his scent all around her, her head on his pillow.

Ryder's eyes flickered open, and she looked around her, disoriented. A bright light next to her caught her attention and she started, seeing Jaal sitting at his desk.

"Jaal-" she said.

He looked over at her, smiling broadly, "I see you are awake."

"I'm so sorry, I came over to watch you work, you weren't here. I must have drifted off."

He chuckled, "I came into my room and was surprised by you in my bed."

She turned red, "I shouldn't have –"

He stopped her, "No, it's fine. I was pleasantly surprised."

She rubbed her eyes and looked at her omni-tool. She'd been asleep an hour and a half.

"You've been working all this time I was sleeping?"

"I was watching over you. You make – little noises when you sleep."

"Shit, really?"

"Yes, but it is charming. You looked very peaceful and beautiful."

She smiled shyly and sat up. "Thank you."

He turned back to his work.

"So, what are you working on?"

He proceeded to show her the modifications to the gun he was making. She stayed for a while more, then was called away to check on the ship repairs.

She stood up and stretched, "Thanks Jaal. I enjoyed watching you work."

"Anytime, Ryder. I like spending time with you."

She thought frantically of something to say to let him know she was interested in more, but couldn't think of anything. "Me too. Will you be able to go out with me later to Kadara?"

"Of course. I'm always ready to go out with you."

She smiled and patted his arm, hesitating for a moment. She walked away with a little thrill. She'd wanted to touch him for weeks and knew that was the sort of thing she needed to start doing more of if she wanted to advance their relationship.

He watched as she walked out, still feeling her touch on his arm.

After a long day on Kadara, she took a hot shower. Cora was in there too. The crew had many heated discussions about toilet and shower rotations. Kallo and Gil were able to put up a makeshift pocket door on the shower. "Who designs a ship with no door on the shower?" Dr. T'Perro had complained. The guys didn't seem to mind, but it was a small issue that had become a big one. They finally decided on a board outside where they could write who was in there, so they could maximize shower time without issue. Gil was allowed in when the girls where there, Suvi went with when the guys were there, they'd had to have a big meeting about it. Drack had the whole shower to himself, his hulking mass not allowing for even Kallo to have room at the same time.

"Kadara has its own level of dirt," Cora said as she scrubbed.

"Yeah, I think it's more mental than anything."

Cora laughed.

"I got an invite from Reyes for a party Sloane's giving." Ryder said.

"Really? That should be fun. When are we going?"

"Nope, just me. And him."

Cora shampooed her hair, "Sounds like a set-up."

"Agreed. Unfortunately, I still have to go. I'll be careful."

Ryder turned the water off and Cora made way for her to pass. She pulled a towel off the wall and dried off quickly, wrapping the it around her. She squeezed the water out of her hair as best she could. Slipping shoes on, she turned to Cora, "Ready?"

Cora walked to the far corner of the shower, "Yup."

Ryder opened the door and shut it quickly behind her. Jaal stood up quickly, he had been waiting, sitting on the bench. He had shorts on, a towel in hand. She'd gotten used to seeing him like that, but it still flustered her. Nothing had been as bad, or amazing as the time she found him naked talking armor with Liam. His muscular form, his junk hanging out, she'd been speechless. It consolidated her resolve to be with him. She'd had to have a conversation about no nudity on the ship, though, and he'd complied by wearing shorts at least.

She wiped her name off the board. "Cora's still in there." She warned him.

"I know, I'm waiting."

She stood shivering, the big towel draped around her. Jaal stood over her.

"Um," she tried to act casual.

"I'd like to go over some data I found with you, when you've got some time."

"Sure," she smiled, "Anytime."

The shower door opened and Cora walked out, wiping her name off the board. "It's all yours, Jaal."

"Thank you," he wrote his name on the board in Shelesh. No one could read it, but they knew it was him in there. He walked past them and went in.

Ryder went in her quarters and put on her tank and shorts, letting her hair air-dry. She picked up her data pad and flopped down on her bed. Her omni-tool lit up.

 _Vetra's voice came over, "Ryder, I've got some contraband popcorn. Want some?"_

"I thought that was for when we have movie night."

 _"_ _Well, I've got some extra. Not enough for everybody, but I can drop you off some. Interested?"_

"Hell yeah!"

 _"_ _Okay, I'll bring some over later."_

Popcorn wasn't her favorite, but it was a reminder from home, and those were rare. She lay on her stomach, scrolling through her datapad. She heard her door open and kept scrolling, "That was quick, how much have you got?"

"That depends on what you are looking for."

Jaals' voice shocked her, and she whipped around, sitting up straight. "I – thought you were Vetra."

"I see."

Ryder scooted out of bed and walked over to him, "She said she was bringing popcorn over."

"Popped corn? What is that?"

"It's a Milky way food. She got some on Kadara and said she would share some. You should try it."

"I think I may do that."

She put her hand on her hip and shifted her weight, beaming at him, "Well, come in and get comfortable, have a seat."

He followed her to the couch area and sat across from her. She sat down and smiled at him. "So, you said there was some data you wanted to go over?"

"Uh, yes, data." He sat and stared at her.

"Did you bring it with you?" she asked.

"No, actually, I think I forgot it."

She laughed, and he joined in.

"I did want to talk to you about something else." He said.

"Okay." She leaned forward.

"Um," he hesistated.

"Would you like something to drink?" she stood up.

"Yes, that would be appreciated."

She got some glasses from her cabinet and reached over the table picking a bottle up. She opened it and poured it, glancing over at him. "I have to take a lot of supplements." She explained, seeing him staring at all the prescriptions on the table.

"Are you ill?" he asked with concern.

"No, no. I have specific food allergies, and I have to take a bunch of vitamins to be ok."

"Is it life-threatening?" he was still concerned.

She handed him a drink and poured herself one. "No, nothing like that. The worst that can happen is I'm in the latrine for half a day." She turned pink and took a drink, sitting down. _Yeah, that's great. Let's talk all about your diarrhea_.

He held his glass up, "This is good."

"Yes, I've been trying to keep some in here for when I get visitors."

"Do you have a lot of visitors?"

"No, not really. Not in here. But, you never know. So – what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I have concerns about Reyes."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I can see why."

"He – I do not trust him."

She laughed, "That's a universal feeling towards him, I believe."

"He has ulterior motives."

"Definitely."

Jaal stood up and started to pace.

Confused, she watched him in silence.

"The way he talks to you, I don't trust him."

She nodded.

"He is very – forward. He keeps making comments."

"He's Latin. They're like that."

"What do you mean, 'Latin'?"

"His culture. They talk differently."

Jaal sat down across from her, frustration in his voice, "But he is too familiar, he is forward in the way he speaks to you, what he says."

"Oh, you mean that. Yeah, he's a big douche."

"What does that mean?" Jaal shook his head.

"Nevermind, he's a jerk, very smarmy. Did that translate better?"

"Yes. Those are your thoughts on him?"

She leaned back on the couch, her arm resting across the cushions. "He's a necessary evil. I know he's coming on to me, but it's all just a game for him. If I didn't need him at all, I'd shut him down all together. For now, I just ignore it."

"Right."

She continued, "I'm not stupid enough to fall for it. He's not my type anyway."

"No?"

"Absolutely not. He's more my brother's type."

"Really?"

"Oh god yeah. He loves bad boys. He'd probably be hooking up with him already." She cleared her throat, she probably shouldn't be talking about him like that, since he was still in a coma. "Anyhow, you don't have to worry about me being caught in his clutches. I've figured him out."

Jaal looked relieved. "That is good. I wasn't sure if you saw that as well."

"I appreciate you talking to me about it, though. You look out for me, I like that."

"I look out for you as much as possible."

She studied him, perplexed. He was uncharacteristically quiet. The door opened suddenly and Vetra came in. "Popcorn – oh, hi Jaal. Would you like to try some?" she held up a bag. "Get it while you can, the rest of it is for the movie night. I had to smuggle this past the rest of the crew in here."

"Yes, I am looking forward to trying this popped corn."

They sat around and ate, and joked until it got late.

"I'd better be going, got to go give Sid a call," Vetra got up and threw the empty bag out.

"I should be going as well. I don't want to take up too much of your evening." He stood up.

"Thanks Vetra, I really enjoyed it," Ryder called out to her.

She waved and left. Jaal hesitated. "I enjoyed that popped corn. It is similar to a snack food we have on Aya. Next time we are there, I will get you some."

"That would be great."

"You are a lovely woman. Thank you for an enjoyable evening. I always enjoy time spent with you." He cocked his head, "Your hair looks very nice down like that. I see why you keep it long."

"Oh, well, thank you."

He reached and took her hand, holding it for a moment, looking down at her fingers. He let go and smiled, leaving her quarters.

Ryder stood in stunned silence, staring at the closed door. She looked down at her hand. She wanted to think that his attention to her was specific to her, and not just the way Angarans are with everyone. He didn't do that with Vetra, though. But maybe he just felt brotherly and protective. He had many brothers and sisters. Was he seeing her that way? Like a little sister? She sighed. Definitely, she needed to come out and tell him. At this point, she was prepared for whatever his reaction would be.

Jaal walked to his quarters deep in thought. He'd felt irritated by Reyes' propositioning to Ryder, and wanted to warn her, yet it wasn't until he walked in on her that he realized why it bothered him so much. He was attracted to her, and the sudden awareness of that fact caught him off guard. Back in his quarters he thought over the evening. When he came in her quarters, he'd been thunderstruck by the sight of her. He'd seen her in a big towel before, but never in so little clothing. Lying on her stomach, her round bottom barely contained in her shorts, her long smooth white legs bent up in the air – he drew in a sharp breath picturing it again. When she jumped around, laying on her back, and he'd seen her chest through the thin fabric, he nearly came undone. He was barely able to put his thoughts together. He'd had a feeling she had a bit of a crush on him, but gave it little thought until that night. It suddenly became important to him how she felt about him.


	4. Chapter 4

The next couple of days, the team focused on more Nexus business and back to Havarl for some unfinished missions.

Back on the Tempest early, Ryder was eating upstairs with most of the crew. "Fantastic meal, Vetra." Ryder sat down and stabbed the meat with her fork.

"Wait –" Jaal stopped her and turned to Vetra, "Does it follow the restrictions for her allergies?"

"Yes, of course. She has those posted in the kitchen."

"Okay," Jaal took his hand away from her arm, "Just making sure."

"Thanks for looking out for me, Jaal." She smiled warmly.

"We wouldn't take a chance on the pathfinder being out of commission." Drack said.

"That was some planet today, Ryder. Thanks for taking me along." Liam dug into his plate heartily.

"Sure, no problem." Ryder tried to be fair by rotating crew. Jaal went on every mission, though.

"The wildlife, the plants – that place was crazy." Liam continued.

"You know, I think that's my favorite planet so far." Ryder mused.

"Even more than Aya?" Peebee asked.

She nodded, "Aya's gorgeous, most like earth. But Havarl has an ethereal quality. The plants and animals are wild, but that will get better as the planet heals. It has a certain- dark beauty about it. The luminescence some of the plants have is so interesting. Those dragonfly like creatures, pretty."

Jaal looked at her appreciatively, "Havarl is my home planet. I grew up there."

"Really?" she asked, "I didn't know that. Now it is my favorite for another reason."

He smiled back at her.

Peebee looked knowingly at Cora and raised an eyebrow.

"I like Eos. It's our first outpost. Call it sentimentality, or whatever." Liam chimed in.

Jaal stood up suddenly looking at his omni-tool, "I have a message, please excuse me," and he briskly walked down towards his quarters.

"I hope everything's okay." She looked in his direction, concerned.

"So, think we'll have time to go the Nexus?" Dr. T'Perro asked. "There are some medicines I'd like to stock up on."

"Do you think it could wait one more day? I've got to meet Reyes on Kadara. Sloane Kelly's throwing a party."

She nodded, "Yes, that's fine, it can wait."

"Party, huh? Sounds like fun. Can we all go?" Peebee said excitedly.

She shook her head, "No, I'm the only one invited, I'm afraid."

"You sure that's safe?" Drack asked.

Ryder smiled, he was becoming more fatherly with her by the day. "I'll be fine. You guys can have shore leave on Kadara, of course, but you just can't go with me to the party. I'm sure it's more than just drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Nothing's ever that simple with Reyes."

She finished her meal as the crew ate and talked about their plans would be on the Kadara. Taking her plate in the kitchen, she was cleaning it up and finishing off her drink when she heard Liam talking about Jaal.

"Nothing that bad. The armor upgrades were great. He wouldn't let me try on his rofjinn though." He walked into the kitchen with Cora, "It's irritating how it moves around him all the time, I mean, what's that all about?"

"Yeah, I noticed that." Cora tried to give him a look to silence him, but it went over his head.

He put his plate on the counter, "I mean, it's like he has a personal fan making it fluff out all the time, putting on a show or something." He started to laugh.

Ryder turned to face him, "It's the electromagnetism from his skin. It causes a type of static electricity. That's why it moves like that." She said tersely, her lips pressed together.

"Oh, I didn't know." Liam was still smirking.

"Well, maybe you should find out before you make a joke about it." She slammed her cup down and started to leave. She turned back around, "You wonder why the aliens don't roll out the welcome mat for us, but it's acting like that that causes problems." She spun around and stormed out.

"Geez, I was just making a comment, it wasn't that big of a deal. Jaal and I joke around all the time."

"She's – sensitive about him." Cora said.

"I don't see why. He's not that easily offended. Damn." Liam furrowed his brows. The intensity of her anger towards him was upsetting. "I'm going to talk to him about it."

"No, don't," Cora put her arm out, stopping him, "Bad idea."

"But I don't want there to be a misunderstanding. We're friends."

"Then leave it, trust me." She could tell he was unconvinced. "Look, don't say anything, but word on the ship is that she's, well, sweet on him."

"What?" he said incredulously.

She nodded. "That's why she's over-reacting. Don't take it personally."

"But there's no way. He's Angaran."

"So? Humans have been with other species, Turian, Asari. Why not Angaran?"

"Is that even possible?"

She shrugged, "Don't know, but I saw a few human – Angaran couples on Kadara. Remember, the exiles have been here for a year and a half, intermixing with them."

He leaned against the kitchen counter. So that's why she rebuffed him. He had only recently given up on trying to get her attention. She's been interested in Jaal the whole time.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed." Cora put her plate in the sink.

"No, I haven't, but honestly I wasn't paying attention. So they're together?"

She shook her head no, "I'm just saying she obviously has a big crush on him. I think he returns her feelings, but so far it's just flirting back and forth. Don't say anything about it, okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah, yeah. No problem."

Cora patted his shoulder and went back to her quarters.

Ryder caught up on some research in her quarters, then went to Kadara to meet with Reyes. At the port. Jaal hung out in Kralla's song for a while, until the filth and noise got to him. Spotting Drack, he went up to him.

"So, have you seen Ryder around? Is she still on the ship? I was – thinking of going back on board."

Drack took a drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "Nah. She's out with Reyes."

"With Reyes?" he raised his voice, "She takes me on every mission, what are they doing?"

"Some party with Sloane Kelly. She said none of the other crew were invited."

He felt concern and anger bubble up uncontrollably. "Do you – do you know where they are?"

Drack shrugged, "Beats me."

Jaal tried to access her location on his omni-tool, but he was unable to get a fix on more than a general location. "Ugh, this is useless." He walked around Kadara port, trying to find her, asking a few people about Sloane Kelly, but he came up empty.

A few hours later, Ryder was back on board, most of the crew back as well. After a few drinks and watching the dancers, Kadara port quickly loses its appeal. Suvi was at her post. "I think Jaal was looking for you."

Ryder nodded. She was still pretty buzzed from the liquor she had with Reyes. "Okay," she waved at her and strode down the walkway a little unsteadily.

"Ryder, you're back in one piece I see." Peebee said, "And had all the fun without me. Whew – you reek of liquor."

"I'll let you know that was grade A superb stuff."

"But you didn't bring any back for us." Peebee pouted.

Cora and Gil grinned at her. They'd never seen the Pathfinder like this.

"Ryder!" Jaal ran up from the cargo bay. He grabbed her by the shoulders looking at her.

"Hey Jaal." She said. "Whoa, don't move me around too much, I'm starting to feel a bit sick."

He patted both her shoulders, "Everything go okay?" he said with concern.

"Oh, yeah. No problems at all." She waved her hands back and forth.

Aware the rest of the crew was gathering around, Jaal stepped back a bit.

"You know I'm just a message away anytime you need me down there," Drack said.

"I know. I can handle it. No big deal."

"So it was a good party?" Cora asked.

Ryder snorted, "Sure, if you think being insulted by Sloane's goons a good party."

"You were gone a while though, couldn't have been that bad." Peebee said.

"Everything go okay with Reyes?" Cora asked her.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the table in the research room. "Yeah, yeah. No issues. Well, except when he tried to kiss me."

"He what!" Jaal flew over from across the room.

"Yeah, you know what I did?"

Jaal looked like he was going to be sick. "What did you do?" he said with a gravity that sucked the air out of the room.

"I punched him in the stomach."

Jaal unclenched his fist and laughed loudly. Ryder joined in. Peebee leaned over to Cora, "Hm, interesting."

Cora nodded. She looked over and caught Liam's eye, who raised his eyebrows and nodded at her.

"Look, why don't you walk her back to her room, Jaal. I'm afraid she might fall over the edge of that walkway." Cora said.

"Of course," Jaal nodded and took her by the arm. "This way, my friend." And went down the ramp towards cargo bay.

"Those two just need to do it and get it over with."

"Peebee!" Cora admonished.

"What? I'm just saying what everybody's thinking."

"Not everybody," Drack said.

"What, you against interspecies romances?" Peebee said accusingly.

"No, just, well, she's a little young, don't you think?"

Peebee and Cora laughed, "Sure, Dad." Cora said as they walked back their respective quarters.

Jaal walked with Ryder back to her room. She held onto his arm tightly. As the door opened, she gave him a beatific smile. "You were worried about me tonight."

"Yes, I was. I told you, I don't trust him, and it turns out I was right."

"I agreed with you, remember? It wasn't anything to worry about. But I appreciate your caring." She looked up at him and put her hand on his chest.

"Well, I think I should go. I'm happy to see you back and okay."

"I'm very okay when I'm with you." She smiled sloppily.

"I'm glad to hear that, Ryder."

"Call me Kathryn. Nobody on this ship calls me Kathryn. It's always Pathfinder, or Ryder."

"I will call you that, in private."

"I look forward to that, Jaal. A lot."

He took a deep breath, "You have been drinking tonight."

She leaned against the doorway in her quarters, "Yes, heavily."

"Get some sleep, special one." He turned to go.

"Jaal-" she called out.

He turned. She went up to him and gave him a hug, leaning her head against his chest. He slowly put his arms around her. She said in a muffled voice, "Thank you."

He patted her back and he pulled away. "Get some sleep Ry-, I mean, Kathryn."

She leaned back, almost falling backwards, smiling with her eyes closed, "Yes, good night Jaal."

"Whoa," he held her up and let her get her balance. "Good night, Kathryn."


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Ryder woke up with a splitting headache and a vague memory of the night before. Holding her head, she drank a large glass of water with the medicine Dr. T'Perro gave her, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Pathfinder, how's it going?" Liam asked her as he passed by.

"Ugh, been better."

He grinned, "Yeah, you were pretty – animated last night."

"What? I was? Shit, what did I say?"

"You mean you don't remember?"

She shook her head, "I remember being on Kadara with Reyes, then a little bit about being back here in the research room, but that's all."

He nodded, "Not to worry. You didn't embarrass yourself too much. Of course, I don't know what happened after Jaal took you back to your quarters." He looked at her over the top of his coffee cup as he took a sip.

"Are you serious?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

She laughed nervously, "You're messing with me. I don't remember –" she had a sudden flashback to hugging Jaal. She felt a hot blush up her neck and her face.

Liam took another sip. "You'll have to ask him then." He grabbed a piece of toast, taking a bite and walking away.

Going as quickly as she could, holding her hand up to her forehead, trying to keep the light out, she went to Cora's quarters. She was misting her plants.

"Hey Ryder. We going to the Nexus today?"

"Yeah, we need some supplies." She sat down.

Cora looked her over, "Bad hangover?"

"The worst. Tell me, were you here when I got back from Kadara?"

"Um-hm."

Ryder leaned over, her elbows on her knees, "I don't remember what happened last night, it's all a blur."

"Why don't you ask Sam?"

"I told him to turn off for anything personal I was doing."

Cora stopped her misting and turned towards her, "Oh. Well, you came back and told us about the party with Sloane, and punching Reyes in the stomach-"

She grinned, "Oh yeah, that was a good one."

"And you were a little drunk, but you didn't do anything undignified, really. Don't worry about it."

She sighed, "Liam said Jaal went to my quarters with me."

Cora smiled, "Yes, but only to help you walk there. He was back in less than a minute. Don't let that concern you." She turned her head, looking at her sideways, "Are you worried about that?"

She smiled guiltily, "I, well, no, I just – I couldn't remember what happened. I wanted to make sure I didn't embarrass myself."

"Well, only Jaal can tell you that. I can tell you he didn't stay in there long."

"Thanks, Cora." She got up to leave.

"Sure, anytime. Ryder?"

She peered up at her, "Yeah?"

"Nothing. Just – you know you can talk to me anytime. I'm here for you."

"Thanks."

Feeling more secure about what happened, she went back to her quarters to get ready for the day's missions. After taking care of some diplomatic issues on the Nexus, she made a course for Aya. The Moshae set up a meeting with Akksul. It didn't go well, and Ryder was concerned how he was going to react. She found Jaal looking over the railing at the view.

"Hey Jaal."

"Ryder! I'm sorry that meeting didn't go better. The Moshae – I had hoped she would have more influence over Akksul."

She sighed, "She tried. I'm not giving up hope. I think I still might be able to get him to come around."

He looked down at her, "I admire your optimism."

"Well, look at you. You haven't killed me in my sleep yet."

"What?"

She pushed back from the railing to face him, "That first day we met, remember? You told me you didn't trust me, but you could always kill me in my sleep."

He laughed loudly, "You gave me the perfect opportunity too, when you fell asleep in my room."

She put her hand up over her eyes, "I shouldn't have stayed. I just lay down for a second and I guess I was out. I must have really surprised you."

"Yes. It's been a very long time since I shared my bed with a woman." He looked over at her with a small smile, then quickly looked out at the lake.

She cleared her throat. "You put a lot of trust in me. I want you to know, I couldn't do this without you. I thought Evfra was going to pull you off the Tempest. I'm glad you petitioned him to stay on board."

"You are doing something remarkable, Ryder. I want to be a part of that."

She nodded. She looked over the lake for a while with him, then excused herself to do some shopping on Aya. She smiled, happy the mission was making headway, and that her friendship with Jaal was deepening. There was still hope it would turn into something else. She was still confused as to how to interpret him, was she reading too much into his comments, his reactions to her? She vacillated between enjoying thinking about the possibility and frustrated with disappointment her feelings may not be returned. At any rate, she was definitely going to continue to try.

That night she heard some commotion outside her quarters and went out to see what was going on. She went to the crew quarters and was immediately met with loud arguing by most of the crew outside the shower.

Jaal was standing with his arms crossed, wet with a towel around him, as a furious Gil in a bathrobe, wet and sputtering, was pointing his finger at him. "You keep doing that!"

Jaal stood impassively.

Cora was attempting to intervene while Suvi and Dr. T'Perro were talking as well.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, what's going on?"

Gil turned to Ryder, "My name is on the board, like we're supposed to do, and he walks in on me anyway. We had it all worked out, he has no respect."

"I told you, I have trouble reading your language. I thought Liam was in there." Jaal said evenly.

"We need to come up with another system, Ryder." Dr. T'Perro added.

Ryder put her head in her hand, "Are you guys serious? All this is about the shower schedule?"

Gil grunted with frustration, "Look, it may not seem a big deal to you, but it is to us. I don't like being barged in on in the shower, or the toilet for that matter."

"That time was a total accident," Drack said, "Don't worry, I didn't see anything I wanted."

"Fuck you, Drack." Gil spat out.

"Okay, enough. Look, let's," Ryder shook her head, "Let's just use different colors or something. Like, the women's names are in red, the guy's names are in blue."

"Then where does that leave me and Gil?" Suvi asked.

"Yeah?" Gil crossed his arms, "I don't like being classified like that."

"Jesus Christ," Ryder leaned against the wall, _I can't believe I have to deal with this crap._

"Why don't you just use pictures? Then you don't have to worry about the language barrier, or use different colors or whatever?" Suvi offered.

Ryder snapped her fingers, "Yes, brilliant. Cora – could you put some magnets with photos together for all the crew? Then you could just move your picture up to show who is in the shower. No language issues."

She nodded, "Yup, shouldn't take long at all."

Ryder sighed in relief, "Great. Is everyone in agreement with that?"

They nodded. "Good, we'll use that, and we shouldn't have any more problems. Thanks, Cora."

She walked back to her quarters as they dispersed, and rolled her eyes. At times she felt like a dorm mother. She had resisted complaining to Kallo about the ridiculous bathroom / shower set up the ship designers made. "At the very least, I should have my own private one. This bedroom is big enough for it." She plopped down in her chair and turned the screen on.

The next day Ryder was troubled about the situation with the Roekaar and Akksul and thought more about how she might be able to convince him of their good intentions. They needed them on their side. It was a waste of resources, not to mention lives that they were fighting each other. She wanted to talk the situation over with Jaal, and walked in on him working on projects for the crew in his quarters. Some of his ideas were – a little off the wall, but his heart was in the right place.

"Yeah, who wouldn't want a ceremonial Angaran dagger?" she smiled. It seemed a bit of over-kill, so she questioned him. "This is a lot of work, Jaal, what's going on?"

He sighed, "I'm sure I seem confident and skilled to you, but I'm not, or I don't feel as if I am."

She was saddened by his poor self-image. "Well, I think you're great."

"That's so…" he started.

"It's true," she protested.

"You're making me blush."

She looked at him more closely, "I can't tell." But it was nice to know Angaran had that same problem.

He cleared his throat and continued, telling her how his family was prestigious with high achievers, where he felt lost and less than in comparison.

"You'll achieve great things, Jaal. I believe in you."

He smiled and went back to his work. She wanted to tell him more, but it didn't feel like it was the right time. She left and was back in her quarters before she realized she'd been too distracted to discuss the Roekaar with him. "Oh well, there'll be another time."

The mission continued, and she took as many opportunities as she could to let him know she thought he was amazing. He impressed her with so many qualities, his ability to handle the truth about the Kett, adjusting to the Milky way aliens and getting along with the crew on the ship. His work ethic, his fighting prowess. She couldn't keep him out of her mind. His humility and desire to make his family proud, but on his own terms while keeping his people foremost in his actions was a credit to his character.

She was horrified when Akksul insulted him in a video message, "You are unfit to bear your family's name."

"I'm sorry to drag you into this." she turned to him.

"Why?"

"Your association with me has made him your enemy as well."

Jaal took it in stride, "He's said similar things before. When we studied before with the Moshae, we never got along."

"He's just jealous." She smiled.

Jaal seemed genuinely confused, "Of what?"

"You're the better man." She wished he could see himself through her eyes.

He laughed, "Well, I am better looking." He got serious. "He's baiting me, baiting you. He wants us to do something reckless, something he can hold up to his followers to advance his cause. Let's not give him the satisfaction."

She nodded in agreement.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day's mission on Kadara she took Cora and Peebee with her, which she quickly regretted. Peebee wouldn't stop goading Cora and making fun of her love of all things huntress. "Tell me again about Sarissa's book of warfare. What else is in it? So much to learn…" she said sarcastically. Cora took her seriously, and spent their time in the Nomad spouting huntress words of wisdom as Peebee snickered and rolled her eyes at Ryder. The more Ryder tried to get her to quit, the more she did it. Cora kept going in the back seat, completely unaware. Ryder finished their business there, and made their way back to Kadara port, where Peebee quickly took off. Cora was smiling, "I feel like I made some headway with Peebee today. I'm glad she sees me as a mentor to her."

Ryder started to say something, but then couldn't burst her bubble. "Yeah," was all she could get out. She made her way to the bar, "I need a stiff drink." After throwing some back, she let the crew know they had an hour left before the Tempest would leave port. She made her way back on the ship and sought Jaal out. She knew he hated Kadara, too dirty he'd told her, and she expected he would still be on board. Maybe he was finishing up that knife he was making for Drack.

She breezed in his quarters, and was surprised to see him very upset, talking to one of his mothers on the comm.

" _You more than anyone know how dangerous Akksul is_."

He let out a big sigh, "I'll bring them home."

Ryder walked up a bit closer, "Are you okay?"

Jaal told her 3 of his siblings had joined the Roekaar. She gasped, "Oh Jaal, I'm so sorry."

"He is poisoning them with his hatred of aliens." He paced as he told her Akksul had made camp on Havarl at the Forge. He looked down and became emotional, "Ryder, he has my family, but I don't think I can do this alone."

He barely finished when she walked up to him, "You don't have to. Just tell me the time and place." Her brows furrowed with concern.

He looked like a huge weight had been lifted off and got closer to her, looking down. He chuckled, "No hesitation. That is what I love about you."

She raised her eyebrows.

He quickly became serious again, laying out their plan.

On Havarl, she was determined to do whatever it took to get his family back safely. She knew Akksul had enlisted Jaal's family on purpose to flush them out. She felt responsible for his targeting of Jaal's sister and brothers.

Jaal tried to reason with them, "Our mothers sent me for you."

His sister was not swayed, "Did our mothers send this human too?" she ran up in Ryder's face.

Teviint reminded her of the first time she met Jaal on Aya, "I'm Ryder, Pathfinder with the Initiative." Ryder put her gun away.

"I should kill you right now," she sneered.

Jaal attempted to intervene. Ryder hung behind as he talked to them. Suddenly he turned to Ryder and grabbed her arm, making her stumble towards him as he introduced her, "I want you to meet my friend, Kathryn. So you can see that Akksul is wrong."

She tried to think fast. "We need to work together against the Kett. We're here to stay, I want to get along."

They spat angry words at her, telling her they didn't want her help, to get out and leave them alone.

"Shit," Ryder said under her breath.

Jaal got through to Lathoul, who spilled Akksul's plan for a stolen Initiative bomb to take out the Forge. Suddenly his sister shot him to keep him from talking, and horrified at her actions, ran.

"Go, disarm those bombs," Lathoul pleaded with Jaal and Ryder. After they were sure he would be okay, they fought their way through and disarmed the bombs.

Jaal's sister ran out of the darkness, "Jaal, I killed Lathoul, I'm so sorry."

"He's not dead, you're lucky."

"I just want to go home." She was distraught.

Akksul's voice came out of the darkness, "Let her go, I only want soldiers committed to our cause."

He walked towards them, strutting around in a small circle. Ryder caught a glimpse above of a large group of his followers, watching them, armed. She turned to Akksul, "You're sick. You get kids to fight their own family."

She could sense the tension mounting exponentially. She could feel Akksul's charisma, his ruthlessness. He reached down towards his belt, "I speak for our people and I say you're done in Heleus!" he pulled a gun and pointed at her.

Instinctively she brought her gun up to defend herself and backed up. "Ryder, don't!" Jaal called out.

Akksul smirked. He held out an empty palm. He never took out his gun. He laughed menacingly and got in her face as she pointed her gun down towards the ground. "Martyr me, please. I dare you."

She narrowed her eyes. This was exactly what he wanted. This whole scene, she was a player in his game. She would not give it to him. "I don't kill unarmed crazy people."

Disappointed, Akksul took another approach. Grandstanding to his followers, he started preaching the danger of aliens, with Jaal interrupting him, telling them how much Ryder had done for the Angara.

"-and she rescued our beloved Moshae."

Akksul saw the effect Jaal was having on them. "Stop! Stop defending them!"

Jaal looked at his followers, "The Moshae trusts Ryder-"

Akksul pointed his gun at Jaal. "Stop! Maybe the enemy is this traitor!"

Jaal said slowly, "Easy." Holding his hands up in surrender.

Ryder brought her gun up again to Akksul, "Jaal?!" her voice was panicked. Akksul was so radical, illogical, she was terrified he would pull the trigger.

"Don't!" Jaal held his hand out to stop Ryder. He continued to try to reason with Akksul.

With all her might, Ryder wanted to shoot Akksul's brains out. Her love for Jaal was the only thing stopping her. His words came into her mind, _"He will make you want to kill him. Follow my lead."_ She bit her lip and forced herself to trust him. Maybe somewhere deep down, their old friendship would cut through his fanaticism. Suddenly she saw a flash and realized Akksul had shot at Jaal. She felt as if she had been shot and paralyzed with fear, followed the bullet as it passed Jaal and somehow hit a rock behind him. She saw his head flinch and she almost lost consciousness. Amazingly, Jaal turned his head back to stare Akksul down. There was total silence, as the implications of his actions were felt by all with a complete change in the air around them. Ryder put her gun down finally as she watched his followers leave in disgust.

"The alien is not the monster here." Jaal turned to his siblings, "Come on, let's get you home."

They walked away, Ryder jogging up to Jaal to keep stride next to him, "You okay?" she tried to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"Yeah. Thanks." He grunted in pain.

She could see the deep gash on his cheek and looked down as they walked back to their shuttle. She tried not to think about what almost happened. She sat in the shuttle as Jaal talked with his siblings and Teviint apologized profusely to everyone on board, especially Lathoul.

Off the shuttle, their mothers walked up to the group. "They're here," Jaal walked away to the railing and said to Ryder, "Let's give them a minute."

"Thank you for trusting me. Killing Akksul would have made the Roekaar stronger."

For the first time since Akksul confronted them, Ryder felt like she was letting the breath out she had been holding.

"He shot you!"

Jaal looked at her, "I'm glad he did. It exposed how far he'd fallen."

She turned to him, the depth of the terror she felt in her voice, "I was really worried!" she started to choke up and couldn't speak any more.

Jaal walked towards her, "It will heal. All scars do." He reached out and embraced her, putting his hand up to her head. She leaned in towards him and put her hand up to his head as well. He leaned his forehead down towards hers and held her like that for a moment. Then suddenly he let go. "We should get back. I want to say goodbye to my family."

She took a deep breath and followed behind him. To him, battle and danger were a part of daily life. She was not so used to having people close to her in danger. She needed to get used to it. It was the cost of caring.

Back on the Tempest, she caught up with Jaal in medbay.

"Hey…" she didn't know exactly what to say about everything that had just happened.

"Hello, my special friend."

 _Hm. Well, that's an upgrade_ , she thought.

"How's the face wound?"

He laughed, "I think I will have an impressive scar."

Her voice became angry, "One centimeter to the right, I hate to think about what could have happened."

"Akksul was always a terrible shot."

"But at close range, I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you. I can't do this mission without you, Jaal."

He looked a bit taken aback by her outpouring of emotion. She was wiping away tears. She looked over her shoulder at Dr. T'Perro and lowered her voice. "I would have emptied every cartridge I had into him if he'd –"

"But he didn't." Jaal stopped her.

She took a deep breath, "No, I know." She calmed herself down. "How is your family doing?"

"Better now. In time, they will heal. They lost their way, got caught up in Akksul's frenzy. It is not their true nature to be like that. I hope you don't think my family would treat you poorly."

"Like you said, they made a mistake. I'm still earning everyone's trust. It takes time. You're helping with that, Jaal."

"I want to. You have done so much for me, so much for the Angara. Can you stay and talk some more? I'm waiting for Dr. T'Perro to prepare an antibiotic for me."

"Almost done," The doctor called out.

Ryder turned to him, "Sure, I always have time for you, Jaal." She smiled warmly. "Actually, could I ask you a few more questions?"

"Sure," he said.

She asked him more about his family. She was surprised to learn about the size. "Five additional mothers, and many, many siblings and cousins. All raised together. Our family is constantly evolving. People come and go."

"I suppose that's a way you could stay strong together against the war against the Kett. I know you said your father was killed by them."

"Yes, I never thought of it that way, but that's true. Before the Kett, we did not live in such large family groups, I am told," he looked at her quizzically. "You had a very small family in comparison. Would you- find being in such a big group difficult?"

She thought for a second, "No, I don't think so. I think it would be kind of nice. Of course, you'd always be able to leave for some alone time when you wanted, right?"

He nodded, "Yes, of course."

She cocked her head to the side, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just curious, that's all. Perhaps one day I'll take you to meet my one true mother, Sahuna."

"I would be honored."

She took a deep breath, "Um, do you have a mate? A partner?"

"I don't. Not for a long time."

"What do you mean?"

He told her the story of falling in love with an older woman, who then fell in love with and married his brother. "He was older, and already famous in the Resistance."

She felt frustrated, he was always selling himself short by putting his family up on a pedestal.

"I think you're interesting and, well – great." She started stumbling over her words, and before she knew it blurting her feelings for him out, "Anyway, I'd like to get to know you better. What do you think?" she held her breath.

"Yes, I'd like that."

She was unsure how to interpret him, he answered like it was a job interview.

"That's it?" her disappointment made her blunt.

"You are a lovely woman, fascinating, a brilliant risk-taker. Knowing you better would be a gift, sincerely."

She was relieved, "Okay then," and smiled broadly.

"I have your shot ready," Dr. T'Perro came over. She leaned over and put it in his neck fold quickly. "That should aide in the healing, and prevent any further medical issues."

"Thank you, doctor." He turned to Ryder, "If you would please excuse me, I have to compose my report to Efvra."

"Of course," she said and watched as he left. She turned back to Dr. T'Perro who was staring at her. "What?"

"Oh, just planning some research, that's all."

"Research on what?"

"Angaran – human relations."

Ryder turned pink, "I don't know what you-"

Dr. T'Perro waved her off, "I'm not deaf, you know, or blind. I can see how deeply you care for him. He was talking to me about you before you came in medbay as well."

"He was? What did he say?" she asked excitedly.

Dr. T'Perro smiled, "He was deeply touched by your trust in him with Akksul. He said he never imagined you would do so much for him and his people. I think he really cares about you, too."

"Hm, yes. However, there's brotherly love, and then there's romantic love. I have a hard enough time figuring that out with humans, let alone an entirely different species."

"Just keep trying. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to communicate how you feel."

Ryder snorted, "That's pretty funny advice from you, doctor."

She frowned, "Why? I don't come across as that cold and clinical, do I? I've had romances in my life."

"No, that's now what I meant. I just –" Ryder gave her a sideways look, "You know, you and Drack."

She was taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"Come on now Lexi, I talked to you about Jaal, don't try to play coy about Drack. I've seen how you fuss over him, always asking about him. It's more than just doctor – patient concern."

She put her hand to her forehead, "Am I really that obvious?"

"No, I haven't heard anyone talk about it, it's just something I've noticed."

Dr. T'Perro leaned against the counter. "It's true. I think he's entirely in the dark about it, though. He would never think of me that way."

"Why not?"

"He thinks he's way too old to be in any kind of relationship. He's got a granddaughter. He sees himself at the end of his life. I – I think he would laugh at me."

Ryder was touched at her vulnerability. "You don't know for sure. There's an age difference, sure, but maybe being older, he's a bit more mellowed, and ready for a different stage in his life. He came out here to Andromeda, didn't he? Don't sell him short, or yourself."

Dr. T'Perro looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe you're right. I'll think about it. Thanks, Ryder."

"No problem. And doctor – I'll keep your secret, please keep mine."

"Don't worry, Ryder, always."


	7. Chapter 7

Ryder felt she was getting even closer to Jaal. Their conversations took on a new intimacy, he sought her out more often. She was feeling more confident in her role as Pathfinder, and things were turning around. Her team was starting work as a unit. Things were going well.

She was thrilled to get a personal email from Jaal

 _Dearest,_

 _In your culture, is "dearest" too strong a word to use when two people are fond of each other? And is "fond" too strong a word to use when two people enjoy flirting with each other?_

 _I enjoy you. Even now, I smile picturing your face. Angara are free with our emotions, and it feels normal for me to lay mine at your feet. I hope this is not too strange for your species and that you can comfortably accept them. I enjoy you – but more than that, I adore your strength and courage and beauty._

She felt her heart race uncontrollably. "Holy shit," she put her hand to her chest and grinned. "More than just a friend." He called her dearest, he was so complimentary and sweet. She read it again, wanting to memorize every word. She was charmed by how sensitive he was to make sure he wasn't coming on too strong, not knowing the difference between species.

She wanted to run out and tell him how she felt too, but she was already dressed for a mission to help Liam out, and needed to bring Drack along. He'd complained about being cooped up on the ship, and she knew he would help keep Liam in line.

The mission was a total shit-show, and she was pissed Liam had been so reckless and put them in danger for trying to be some sort of hero – ambassador. He tried to laugh it off at the end of the mission, knowing how angry she was, apologizing a few times. That just made her even more mad. "This was bullshit, Liam. You put everyone at risk. Yes, it turned out ok, just barely. Never again, do you hear me? Or I will drop you off at Kadara port and not look back. Don't think I won't do it."

He was silent.

She huffed and turned to look at the ship out the window. "Get a team together, maybe we can salvage something-"

The ship exploded.

She turned and glared at him and silently walked away. She headed towards the showers and slammed the door shut. She furiously scrubbed as she thought over the events of the mission. She couldn't have someone on her team who was going to go rogue like that. It undermined the entire team and the initiative. Peebee or Drack, she could see maybe doing something like that, but Liam was Initiative and he had different training and knew better. She turned around in the hot water and ran her fingers through her wet hair. He was so anxious to make things the way he wanted, he failed to see the big picture. She shook her head, so frustrating.

She turned to get the shampoo when suddenly the door opened. She turned to see Jaal come in, to her surprise.

"Jaal!"

He closed the door behind him and put his towel on the interior shelf.

She turned away and looked over her shoulder at him, "I put my picture outside the door."

"I know," he turned the shower on, "I didn't think you would mind."

She smiled and shook her head no. She looked down nervously, "I got your email this morning. It was really nice."

He turned around and let the hot water spray over him. "I wanted to make sure I wasn't offending you."

"Oh, no, not at all. I liked it, very much." She gave him a wide smile. She tried to cover her front with her arms.

He certainly wasn't shy at all, he scrubbed up with the different shower gels he had and turned around beside her, talking to her.

She answered his questions about the mission, keeping herself closed up and turned towards the shower head. She put shampoo in her hair and scrubbed, leaning forwards in the water and letting it wash down her back.

He watched her quizzically, "Why do you keep your front covered, but have no problem showing your backside?"

She squinted at him through the shampoo froth on her eyes, "What?"

"Is that something particular to humans? The modesty your species has is very different, and odd."

"Um," she rinsed her face off quickly and turned towards him, her arms crossed over her chest, "I never really thought about it, but I guess women are more modest about their breasts and um, private area." she looked at him to try and gauge his reaction.

He looked at her while he cleaned off, "I don't know why, you are lovely creatures."

"Are we very different from Angaran women?"

"Hm, yes, and no. Some similarities. However, Angaran males are different from Human males as well, correct? It's all how you see the differences."

She nodded, still clenching her arms across her. "Well, I don't have a problem with the differences."

"That's good to hear."

She felt a jolt of excitement, and shifted her thinking from feeling self-conscious to realizing, they were both naked in the shower together. She finished rinsing all the shampoo out and put the bottle back, missing the shelf and dropping it. She turned to pick it up and slipped on the soapy shower water. Before she realized she was falling, Jaal had grabbed her arm and pulled her back up. She gasped as she struggled to regain her footing.

"Are you alright?" he held on to her, looking at her with concern.

"Yes, it was so slippery, I don't know what happened." She started to chuckle.

He still gripped her arm, and ran his thumb over her skin, "Fascinating, how the water beads up on your skin, ours is not like that."

She looked down at her arm, nodding, then back up at him. She took a deep heavy breath of the steamy air. His eyes bored into her with a new intensity. She suddenly felt a tingling in her arm that intensified into a sharp shock.

"Ow, ow!" she pulled her arm back reflexively. She rubbed her skin and examined it. She could see faint red marks where his fingers had been.

"What, what happened?"

She rubbed her arm, "It felt like a shock."

"I apologize, it must have been the electromagnetism. I lost control temporarily. Angarans use it as a method of communication with each other, a way to further express feelings." he reached down for her arm, "Very careless of me, in combination with the water, it must have hurt."

"It was more of a surprise, I wasn't expecting it."

He picked up her arm and saw the red marks, "I am so, so sorry Kathryn, stars, I injured you, I apologize."

"It's not that bad really, that's superficial."

"Please see Dr. T'Perro,"

She laughed, "No, those marks will be gone soon, really it's no big deal."

He sighed and looked at her with deep concern. She laughed again, "Interspecies differences, there's bound to be more."

He cracked a smile, "Yes," he let her arm down.

She looked up into his eyes again and moved close to him, "Jaal –" she said quietly. She held his forearm, her other hand moving up his abdomen as she pressed herself against him. She watched as he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. She felt his hand lightly press against her back. Her emotions washed over her body, anticipation and the pleasurable feeling of his warm skin against hers overwhelming.

 _Bam, bam, bam!_

She jumped back, startled. Someone was banging on the shower door. "Just a minute!" she called out, irritated.

More banging, harder this time, _BAM, BAM!_ She let go of Jaal and went to the door, just in time to see it dented in by the hammering. "Get out! You've been in there too long!" Drack's voice called out behind the door.

She grabbed a robe and put it around her, "The fuck!" she opened the door angrily, "What the hell's wrong with you Drack!"

He stood calmly, "You guys have been in there too long. There's other crew who need to use it, you know."

She looked over his shoulder and saw Liam behind him, holding his arms up to his side, "I told him to wait." He squeaked out.

She turned back to Drack, "Dammit, that's pretty extreme don't you think!" she huffed and tried to pull the door back out, it was moving in a herky jerky motion. She stepped out and tried to close it, it wouldn't because it was warped. She pressed her lips together and glared at him. "Really?"

"Hey, that's shoddy construction. I barely knocked on it."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Fine. Then after your shower, you can help Gil make a new one."

Jaal came out with his towel around him, as Ryder breezed past Drack towards her quarters.

"What were you guys doing in there, anyway?" Drack asked Jaal.

"Getting clean, the fuck?" Ryder shot over her shoulder. She went into her quarters and as the doors whooshed shut behind her she stood panting in her robe, soaking wet, hair dripping around her shoulders. She felt a little wobbly, still reeling from being so close to Jaal.

 _Pathfinder?_

"Yes, Sam?" she stood shivering.

 _Nothing._

She nodded and rummaged around her closet for a towel.


	8. Chapter 8

Ryder didn't see Jaal the rest of that evening, but the next day they were on Aya. She dropped off a new artifact to Avela. She waited to meet up with Jaal. He'd had a meeting with Evfra, so she checked the merchants out, then shared a drink with Drack, his treat. He'd managed to get a new shower door up that morning.

It was past the time she thought they'd meet up, so Ryder excused herself and looked around for Jaal, finding him looking over the railing, a view she'd found him staring out on before. He looked serious, troubled.

"Meeting go okay?"

He turned towards her, startled. "What? Oh, the meeting. It – went okay."

She frowned. "That doesn't sound good."

He brightened, "No, it's fine. Did you get the supplies you wanted?"

She nodded and leaned against the railing beside him, "Yes, and some of those snacks you like." She smiled, "Maybe you can come by my quarters later and we can share some."

He looked down, silent.

"Um, or not-" she furrowed her brows. _Crap, maybe he didn't like what he saw in the shower yesterday._

"Evfra threatened to take me off the Tempest team, and pull me back on Aya."

"Why?"

He turned to face her, but wouldn't look at her. "He is – concerned about my commitment to the Angara."

"What? He's crazy! How could he say that?"

He met her eyes, "Because he questioned the nature of my relationship with you. He asked me specifically if we were in a relationship. He questions my loyalty." He sighed, "Discretion is the –" he looked over and saw Paaran Shie walk up. He stepped away from Ryder.

"Jaal," she greeted him, "Pathfinder. Good to see you."

"I was just showing the Pathfinder the falls," he pointed over the railing.

"Yes, the topography here is stunning." Ryder said.

"If you could please excuse us," Paaran Shie said.

"Of course. I have business here to attend to as well." she nodded and walked away towards the docking bay, thinking frantically over what Jaal had just told her. How could Evfra have any idea about them having a relationship? Did he tell him that? Did it matter that much? She sat down at one of the benches and thought about what he just told her.

Jaal listened distractedly to Paaran Shie, as she described to him her plan for more Angara to move to the Nexus.

"I'm going to visit it myself to assess the situation."

"Hm, yes, that is a good plan."

She discussed it some more, then left. Jaal leaned over the railing, hanging his head down. It was going to be harder than he thought, with Ryder, but they were both soldiers, and this was how it had to be.

He had struggled yesterday to get his emotions under control in the shower, wrapping two towels around himself to camouflage his immense hard-on when he left for his quarters. He could still see the sight of her, long wet hair ribboning down her back, soapy water running down her spine and between her round butt cheeks. Back in his quarters, he'd researched humans on the ship's database to get a better idea of their anatomy. He wanted to make sure he never hurt her accidentally again. He also wanted as much information as he could on human female mating. It was very similar to his species, much to his relief. Getting in the shower with her had been a lark. He'd only been curious, and wanted to flirt with her a bit more. He'd had no intention of making any sort of physical move towards her, but when she'd initiated it, it had been exhilarating. He wasn't sure how she felt about his anatomy, but she'd been excited, as he was.

His meeting with Evfra that morning had started out well, but quickly deteriorated.

"Please explain to me the nature of your, friendship," he'd wrinkled his nose, "with the Pathfinder."

Jaal had been taken aback, "My what?"

Evfra pulled him over to the side. "I've been informed it may be more than just professional."

Jaal stared at him, "I don't know what you mean."

Evfra huffed in frustration, "One of my staff saw you with her last time you were here on Aya. He said you two were very close." He narrowed his eyes, "How can I trust your intensions if she is influencing you?"

"Wait –" Jaal started.

"Besides the fact she is an alien species and I question your, choices," he said with disgust, "I cannot have faith in your intel, your judgement, your counsel if you are prejudiced by your feelings for her."

Jaal took a deep breath, "While I have the upmost respect and admiration for her as a captain and a person, we are not in a relationship. You can be assured."

Evfra was not convinced. "I've watched you both as well, and witnessed what appears to be a closer relationship."

"Remember, she is an alien species. Their body language, tone of voice is different from ours. I believe you may have misinterpreted what you observed."

Evfra nodded slowly, "Perhaps. However, this is too important. I'm going to replace you with another officer."

Jaal panicked, "No. Please, I have made headway with the rest of the Milky way species. They are also getting to know our people through my stories and experiences. They trust me. If you pull me now, that will be seen as a lack of confidence and weakness. It would not advance our cause."

Evfra mulled this over in his mind. He turned to look out his window, his hands clasped tightly behind his back. After a few moments he turned back to face Jaal. "And you say there is nothing more between you and Ryder?"

Jaal shook his head vigorously, "No."

Evfra let out a low breath. "Alright. You have had an exemplary record. I am assured that will continue to be the case. Dismissed."

Relieved, Jaal walked out and found himself over at the railing, struggling to decide how he was going to handle this situation with Ryder. Staying on the Tempest was a must. He was needed there to help them with their search for a home and advance their fight with the Kett. There was finally some hope, where they have been without for so many, many years. He sighed heavily. He had to stay on the Tempest. He realized, he needed to be with her, for his very ability to breathe.

* * *

Ryder was still sitting on the bench when Jaal stopped by and sat next to her.

She was silent, looking up at him. He looked around at the plants. "Paaran Shie wants to visit the Nexus to see about more Angaran moving there."

She nodded, "That's a good idea."

"That's what I told her." He turned to her and gave her a firm smile. He spoke quietly, "I hope you understand what I said before, about discretion."

"Uh, I think so." She could feel her heart sink.

He nodded, "Good, that's good. I assured Evfra that there was nothing between us, he had no cause for worry," he said firmly, gesturing with his arm. "I think that's about all we can say on the matter. Well," he stood up rapidly, "I'm going back on board. I'll see you later."

"Wait," she called out. He turned and sat back down next to her. "That's it? I mean, what are you saying?"

He looked down at his palms, rubbing one of them with his thumb. "There is no choice, Ryder. You must see that."

"Okay, so that's it then?" she asked incredulously.

He nodded.

"So, all those things you told me in your email-"

"I'm sorry." He stood up.

She watched open mouthed as he walked off briskly and then averted her gaze down to the pattern on the floor. She felt completely deflated. While she understood why Evfra's fear would make him suspicious, it seemed a little extreme. She knew Jaal couldn't risk being off the Tempest and off her team, but he seemed pretty quick to write her off.

She slowly got up and made her way back to the dock. She put on a smile along the way, realizing she was not just Kathryn Ryder, she was the Pathfinder. A beacon, Tann had said. Her personal life was forever going to be influenced by that. And it fucking sucked.

Back on board, she kept to her quarters, mostly. She checked her email and was dismayed to see Jaal had deleted the personal email he'd sent her. She banged her fist on her desk in frustration. She thought briefly about telling him he was not allowed to delete an email from her database, but quickly dismissed the idea.

 _Pathfinder._

"Yes, Sam?"

 _I sense your unhappiness with the loss of the email from Jaal. I have a copy in my database if you ever want to read it._

Suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to read it again. Not now, but maybe sometime. "Thanks Sam, I appreciate that."

In the days after, she focused on the mission, helping out as many people as she could along the way. "If I can't be happy, at least I can make someone else happy." She thought. The crew noticed a change in her demeanor, she was quieter, more serious. A few tried to talk with her about it without luck. It was Peebee who figured it out.

"Jaal must have told her he's not interested." She mused at lunch one day.

"Why do you think it must be because of a guy?" Vetra countered.

"Well, have you seen them together lately? I mean, she takes him on missions, but they were getting pretty chummy there for a while. They hardly speak anymore, and when they do, it's about business."

"Huh, you're right," Vetra said.

"Yeah, I think you are." Liam added.

"You know what this means?" Peebee looked around. They all looked at her blankly. She huffed, "It means he's back on the market."

"Jesus Peebee, that's the last thing you should do." Cora said, shaking her head.

"All the more reason to actually do it." She grinned devilishly.

Cora empathized with Ryder, and while she wanted to talk to her, there never seemed to be the right time. After their mission on the Asari ark, she ended up in Ryder's quarters as she tried to console her about Sarissa's betrayal.

"We did the right thing, Cora. It would have eaten you up inside knowing the truth while Sarissa paraded around as the Pathfinder."

"I know, but knowing why doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

Ryder raised her eyebrows and gave a knowing smile, "No, unfortunately, it doesn't." She got up and went to her cabinet, "How about a drink?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Cora looked around her room. "Nice quarters."

Ryder poured whisky into the glass, "Yes, a bit too big, if you ask me." She handed Cora one and poured one for herself.

"I think I could handle it."

Ryder sat down on her couch. "This is all my dad." She gestured around, "He liked to really set himself apart. I would have taken half this room, given the crew more space in their quarters."

Cora smiled warmly at her, "I know you doubt yourself sometimes, but I think this mission would not be going nearly as well as it has if Alec had been the pathfinder."

Ryder was stunned.

Cora continued, "No, I mean it. And I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass, that's not my style. I mean, he was so set on Milky way species first, he would never have agreed to Evfra's plan to help them with the Moshae. There was no guarantee in that, with a lot of time and resources spent." She cocked her head to look at Ryder, "He would not have sought cooperation as much as you have. We would have made headway, but not nearly as much, and at a much higher cost. And you definitely have done things much better than I would. Training isn't everything."

"Wow, I'm, thank you." Ryder sputtered.

"I'm not the only one who thinks that way. You've done a fantastic job as Pathfinder. You were exactly what we needed in Andromeda. I want you to know that."

Ryder took a drink and looked down at her glass. It was generous of Cora to be comforting her after she just had her hero taken from her.

"I – uh, I hope you don't mind me asking you, I've noticed lately that you seem a bit more, quiet, less talkative. I'm here if you need to talk, you know that. Sure, you've got Sam, but sometimes you need a friend."

"I thought I was here to cheer you up," Ryder said.

"Yes, but I'm going to be okay. Like you said, the right path was chosen today."

"Are you afraid I'm not going to be okay?"

"Just – concerned. That's all." Cora looked over at her, "It's Jaal, isn't it? Things didn't work out?"

Ryder tightened her lips together, "No, things didn't work out."

Cora sighed, "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Yeah, it's been difficult." She took another drink, "But, I'm the Pathfinder. I have to put my personal life aside, you know?"

"Well, not necessarily to an extreme."

"That's not my choice to make, unfortunately." She held up her empty glass, "Want another?"

"Sure." Cora held hers out.

They talked and drank for a while more, Ryder refusing to elaborate more about her personal unhappiness.

The next day she was on Elaaden with Jaal and Peebee, trapped mostly in the Nomad. She was feeling a bit sick from drinking too much with Cora last night, and even though she was doing the driving, the sand dunes were lurching the vehicle about.

She was lost in her own thoughts, tuning out most of what Peebee and Jaal were saying until she caught Peebee's change in tone, a teasing, coy tone with Jaal.

"Why so interested in Asari mating methods, Jaal?" she purred, "Want to know if it's possible with an Angaran?"

Ryder could hear the embarrassment in his voice, "What? I was just asking, I mean, I don't know what to think."

Peebee trilled with laughter, "I think it's totally possible. You seem interested, maybe we could – ouch!" she glared over at Ryder who was jerking the wheel of the Nomad around.

"Sorry, there was something there in the sand, I had to go around it."

Peebee made a face, "Yeah, sure." She turned her attention back to Jaal in the back seat, "So, we could check it out, you know, research it."

"I don't believe there is any research done on that," Jaal said.

Peebee grinned, "The best kind of research is field research – hey!" the Nomad jolted again and Peebee, who refused to wear a seatbelt, bumped her head on the side of her seat. She glared at Ryder, "Quit it."

Ryder stopped her, "That's enough, Peebee."

She opened her mouth to retort, when Ryder spoke through gritted teeth, "I mean it."

Peebee sat back forward facing in her seat and crossed her arms in front of her. Ryder chided herself for being so foolish to bring them both along at the same time. Back on the Tempest she set a course for the next day and left the bridge, finding Peebee gesturing to her from her escape pod quarters. She set her jaw and walked over.

"Yes?" she said with a clipped voice.

"Look, don't get an attitude with me about Jaal. You guys aren't together, that's obvious, so there's no reason to get pissy with me." Peebee put her hand on her hip and smirked. "But, to be honest, he's not interested in me. He turned me down."

Ryder tried to hide the relief she felt. "So, tell me why we're even having this conversation."

Peebee turned her hand around and looked at her fingernails. "Oh, I'm just letting you know, I'm not the one on board you need to be worried about."

"And who says I'm worried?"

Peebee laughed, "You seemed pretty possessive today for somebody who's not in a relationship with him."

"Maybe I just think you're not good enough for him."

Peebee lost her composure for a second, then crossed her arms, "I don't think he'd ever be interested in either one of us."

Ryder rolled her eyes and started to walk away.

"You have to ask yourself, why Gil is spending so much time in his quarters." She called after her.

Ryder froze and turned around, "Gil?"

Peebee nodded satisfactorily. "Yup. Makes sense, doesn't it. Why he rejected both of us."

"Whatever, Peebee." She waived her hand at her and turned and walked away. She furrowed her brow, thinking about what she'd told her. It couldn't be true. Could it? It was probably just Peebee's sour grapes that Jaal wasn't interested in her. Plus she knew she was mad at her for bumping her around in the Nomad, telling her to back off. She went back to her quarters and checked her omni-tool. Jaal was in his quarters and Gil was in Engineering. She shook her head. Peebee was full of shit. Just trying to get back at her.

That evening she ate dinner with most of the crew. Jaal was usually there as well, and although they had awkward, more formal interactions now, they did discuss missions and strategy at meals. She was getting better at keeping her feelings in check. He seemed to be doing very well with that too, much to her chagrin. She was almost half done with her meal when she looked around and noticed he wasn't there. She brought up her omni-tool and checked. He was in his quarters. She started eating again, then looked around, seeing Gil wasn't there either. _Probably nothing,_ she thought, so she checked again, and Gil was in Jaal's quarters as well. She felt a chill down her spine and felt she was going to be sick. She hastily shut her omni-tool off and took a drink. She set it down and unconsciously started clicking her fingernails on the glass. She caught Vetra's amused eye, and smiled tersely, stopping the noise. She stood up and took her plate and glass down to the empty kitchen, putting them in the sink. She leaned over the counter on her hands, mulling over the potential course of events Peebee had suggested.

Evfra had a problem with Jaal being with the Pathfinder. He never said anything about him not being with someone else on the crew. She could feel her face tingle with anger and hurt. She barely registered that Liam was standing next to her, attempting to get to the sink. She walked away and down to Jaal quarters.

As Pathfinder and captain she had master access to every room on board. As she stomped towards the tech lab, she imagined what she might be walking in on. She sped up her pace, trying to get away from the images of him bending Gil over, ramming into him as Gil held onto the table, crying out in ecstasy. The door wooshed open and she ran in. Gil and Jaal looked up from his table in surprise. Architectural plans from the Tempest were laid out with measuring tools, a pencil in Gil's hand.

"Ryder! Need me for something?" Jaal asked.

She stopped halfway in the room, looking flustered.

Gil pointed at the plans with his pencil, "I was going to go over this with you Ryder, once I had it all worked out, but I'm trying to get more maneuverability to the ship. That last encounter with the Archon got me thinking." He looked up at her and stopped. "Hey, are you feeling okay?"

"I, uh" she put her hand up to her head.

Jaal looked at Gil, "Maybe we should pick this up tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." He put his pencil down and walked past Ryder, shutting the door.

"What is it?" Jaal looked at her with concern.

She laughed bitterly, "I was just, just wanting to see what you guys were doing in here, that's all." She lost her voice at the end.

Jaal frowned, "We aren't breaking any regulations, are we?"

She shook her head no.

"Gil asked me last week for his help on a project on the Tempest. He does not feel comfortable asking the pilot. Those two do not get along. He wanted some input and assistance. I hope I haven't crossed the line."

"No, no," she waived her hand up, "Not a problem, I didn't know, it's fine."

He stood and looked at her, puzzled. She had seemed distraught when she came in, now frazzled. "What can I do to help?"

"It's nothing, I just – someone told me there was more going on here, that's all." She chuckled, thinking what a fool Peebee had made of her.

"More? It's all above board and I'm not taking your ship apart, I promise."

She nodded.

Suddenly Jaal got it, "Wait – you mean me and Gil? Together? No, absolutely not. We're just colleagues and friends, that's all. I promise you. I know he is attracted to men, but I am not. And he has never indicated any of those feelings towards me in any way."

She held up her hand to stop him, "It's okay, I had no place trying to find out what was going on."

"Yes you do," he protested.

She raised her voice, "No, no I don't. Your personal life is your business and I had no right, Jaal. None at all. I'm sorry." She turned and left quickly. She clenched her fists and rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she had done that. She'd followed her emotions without thought, and she'd been wrong. Peebee had been wrong. She could see how ship gossip would have come to that conclusion. Damn, she hoped Jaal wouldn't tell Gil what she'd said. She didn't think so, then he'd have to explain to him why she felt she had a hold over him. She berated herself for the feelings for him that never went away. She was starting to resent his caring and compassion towards her, it reminded her of what she couldn't have. She made her way back in her quarters and leaned her back against the door. She looked down at her arm and absently ran her finger over the small red scars from the electrical burns he'd given her that day in the shower.


	9. Chapter 9

She thought about confronting Peebee about the whole Gil situation, but decided not to give her the satisfaction. She refocused her efforts on hunting the Archon, as they discovered the Salarian ark tethered to it.

She brought Jaal and Drack on the mission, the two of them becoming her team of choice lately. As much as Jaal's presence tortured her, she needed his insight and expertise. Drack was a steadying force, and his brute strength was unmatched among the crew. She knew infiltrating the Archon ship would be a tough fight.

After the mission with the successful acquisition of the relic and rescuing the Salarian ark, Ryder was back on the Tempest, in medbay with Dr. T'Perro grilling her about the dangers of an AI having access to her base physiology.

"How could you allow him to kill you?" she demanded.

Ryder tried to laugh it off, but Dr. T'Perro wasn't having any of it. She brought up her omni-tool, "We need to go to the Nexus and change those settings in Sam node immediately."

"Whoa, whoa, just a minute doctor. Sam didn't do it without my permission-" Ryder started.

She snapped her head up, "And what if next time he doesn't wait for your permission!"

"Doctor!" Ryder became serious, "It was a plan, I gave him the go-ahead, with the stipulation that he would re-animate me, which he did, successfully. I didn't make the decision lightly, there was no other choice. If he hadn't done it, I'd be strung up and tortured like the Moshae had been, and Jaal and Drack would be dead, or worse."

Lexi walked off and paced as Sam talked to her to explain his position. Lexi relented, but insisted on a thorough examination before she would release Ryder. She looked particularly at the puncture wound on the base of her skull. "Cerbro-spinal fluid. He can get your DNA and other information about you, but the biotransmitter was successfully deactivated by Sam." She turned off her scanner. "I don't think you'll have any other lasting effects, just some soreness at the site for a day or so." Ryder nodded in relief, and finally let go, she left medbay and headed towards the showers. Enough time had elapsed for Drack to go. They had unofficially agreed to let him start showering first after the door incident.

She was halfway down the walkway when the doors wooshed open and Jaal came out, wet, with a towel around his waist. He breezed past Ryder, who glanced up at him for only a second, when Peebee's voice caught her attention. She was standing in the doorway of the shower, dripping wet with a towel loosely held up to her front.

"Hey, it's not- " Peebee caught sight of Ryder, now in eyesight. She waved behind her in Jaal's direction, "Later Jaal!" and cocked her head to the side, giving Ryder a satisfied smile. Ryder felt her blood pressure soar, and her face tingle with anger. She turned her head and walked directly forward into her quarters. The door closed behind her and she froze, her eyes shut tightly, attempting to erase the scene she'd just witnessed. She let out a loud yell and slammed her hand against the wall.

"Fuck!" she hit it a few more times, then flopped down on her bed, sitting with her head forward in her hands. This is what she had feared since Jaal had dumped her on Evfra's insistence. He turned his affections to someone else, and of all the crew, Peebee?

"Dammit, she's been after him since he came on board." It pissed her off, Peebee couldn't ever be honest with her even if she tried. "I should have never let that Asari slut on board." She slammed her fists down on the bed. She felt tears start to fall, and she sat and quietly cried. No matter what Peebee did or didn't do, it was Jaal who was in control of who he wanted to be, and he obviously didn't want to be with her.

"All that talk about Evfra, he probably made it up as an excuse to dump me." She thought about that for a while. To be honest, Angarans were still largely a mystery to her, maybe they went in and out of relationships more quickly. "Fuck, I don't know." She wiped her eyes.

The next day she went to Aya to discuss progress with the Moshae. She had largely avoided her crew, but now that they were there on shore leave, they were approaching her about her death on the flagship.

"Pretty crazy stuff, Ryder. You feeling ok?" Liam looked at her with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Didn't have a chance to talk to you last night, you were holed up in your room." Cora said.

"I know." Ryder forced a smile.

Cora gave Liam a look, and he said, "I ..think I'll go over the bar, have a drink with Drack."

Cora turned her attention back to Ryder, lightly touching her arm, "I can tell you're still upset about what happened on the flagship."

Ryder shook her head no, "Actually, I got over that pretty quickly, it's not that. I –" she looked around, there were a lot of people around them.

Cora nodded, "We can talk more when we get back to the Tempest."

"Yeah, sounds good." She put her hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"You want to have a drink with us? They make great smoothies." Cora pointed to the bar where Liam and Drack were drinking.

"No thanks, I've got some shopping to do at the market." She walked away, appreciating how much her crew had become close and was touched by their concern for her.

She walked towards the market and mentally went over the list of snacks and mods she wanted to get. As she approached, she caught a glimpse of Peebee walking through the vendors and groaned inwardly. She then saw Jaal next to her. Slowing her pace, she watched as they talked together for a moment, Peebee laughing, then they walked away towards the outer walkway. She narrowed her eyes at them, irritated, then gasped as she saw that as they walked, he held his arm out for Peebee to entwine her arm and hand over it. Ryder felt sick, then faint as she stared open-mouthed. She felt a bump from behind, as she had stopped suddenly, from an Angaran who proceeded to apologize profusely to her. She snapped to her senses, "No, entirely my fault, I'm sorry," she replied and walked rapidly back to the Tavataan. She looked around in a panic, unable to process what she'd just seen, and not knowing what to do. She went to the bar next to Cora, unable to speak.

"Hey, got everything you needed?" Cora asked her, then saw the look on her face. "Are you okay?"

Ryder leaned her elbow on the bar, head down, "No, not at all." She brought up her omni-tool, "If I give you the list, can you get the things I need?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem." Cora turned towards her so she was hidden from the others.

Ryder's fingers flew as she typed it up and sent it. "There." She looked up at Cora, "Thanks, I appreciate your help."

Cora's brows furrowed, "Of course, we'll take care of it. Liam? Can you come with me to the markets?"

"Sure," he joined them.

Ryder forced a smile, "Ok, thanks," she walked briskly away and back to the Tempest.

"What's the problem?" Liam asked Cora as they walked towards the Markets.

"Don't know, but can't talk about it-"

He nodded, "I know, I know, the life of a Pathfinder's second." He grinned at her.

Ryder had started hoping Peebee had been teasing her when she called out to Jaal from the shower. She'd lied about other things before and seemed to enjoy making her suffer. Today she could no longer pretend it was not reciprocated by Jaal. They were arm in arm on Aya, for everyone to see.

Back on the Tempest, she stayed in her room, going over reports and working on her computer. She was making progress towards full viability on Elaaden. The final push towards Meridian was close, she knew it. Drowning her sorrow in work was her new way to cope. After a quick meal on a mostly empty ship, she went back to her quarters again to continue to work. Finally at a stopping point, she sat on her couch, mindlessly looking out on the expanse of space while listening to her music. A sudden ping at the door made her jump slightly. "Enter."

Cora came in holding up a bag, "Snacks from Aya. You game?"

"Sounds great," she motioned to the chair across from her.

Cora took a handful then handed her the bag. "So, what's going on?"

Ryder smiled, she liked how forthright she was, yet knew when to back off.

"Ugghhh," Ryder rubbed her face in her hands, then looked down at the floor.

"Let me guess, Jaal?"

She nodded.

"What's he doing now? I know he was pretty freaked out watching you die in front of him. He kept talking about it."

"Really? He didn't seem that way to me." Ryder leaned back on her couch and looked out into the swirl of stars out her window. "Actually, he didn't say much to me about it at all."

"Yeah, Liam said he was really shook up, very emotional."

"The only emotions I see are the ones he saves for Peebee."

"Peebee?" Cora looked confused.

"Yup. They shared a shower yesterday," Ryder started,

Cora's eyes widened.

"-and I saw them today in the Markets laughing and talking, walking arm in arm."

Cora looked down and shook her head, "Oh, no."

Ryder tightened her lips, "Yup. Pretty much that's it. So he dumped me, saying it was because of Evfra and you know, diplomatic relations, whatever the shit, and now he's all over Peebee walking through Aya like it's the fucking Easter parade."

"Damn, Ryder, I'm so sorry. That sucks."

She nodded. "I just wish I hadn't fallen so hard for him, I mean, I'm the Pathfinder. I have a job to do, we all do, and I wish I could just focus on that."

"You are though, you aren't acting distracted or unfocused on the missions or with your decisions at all. And I would be honest with you if I thought you were."

"Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. I suppose then, the result is I'm just super unhappy doing it. And dammit, anyone but Peebee. Seriously! Why her! Ugh!"

"I agree."

Ryder got up and started pacing, "It kills me, you know, it's like she loves flaunting it in my face, like 'ha ha, look at me, I won.' Fucking bitch."

"She sure is."

"I thought, I thought I knew him, you know? I really did." She put her face in her hands and started to cry.

Cora looked down and frowned. "She probably went after him pretty hard. He'll find out what she's really like and wizen up."

"Maybe, and maybe not. You know, she told me she would never troll on somebody's crush, and I believed her."

Cora couldn't help but smile, thinking how they all sounded like middle school girls. "She's a cunt, don't worry about her. And you know what, if that's what he really wants, then he's not the guy for you anyway."

Ryder wiped the tears from her eyes, "But I really felt like he was. He wrote me a love letter in an email, then deleted it out."

Cora let out a low breath, "That's really bad." She got up and sat next to her, giving her a hug. "Come on, let's eat ourselves silly with these snacks, drink and watch a vid. I've got some good ones I got last time Liam and I were on the Nexus."

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea." She took a deep breath and attempted a smile. "Thanks."

Cora jumped up and looked through her cabinet, pulling out a few bottles and two glasses. She got a vid started and they turned her couch around so they could see it better. Ryder relaxed, grateful for the distraction. She drank and laughed with Cora at the vid. It was an old one, but it was funny, and helped her forget herself for a little while.

Cora's omni-tool lit up and she typed a message back, shutting it off.

"Everything ok?" Ryder asked her, suddenly realizing she'd been talking all about herself that night.

Cora smiled, "Oh yeah, just letting Liam know when the movie will be over."

Ryder turned to face her, "What's this, is there something between you two?"

She nodded, "Well, yeah, sort-of."

She had Ryder's full attention, "Really? I had no idea you were into him. Since when?"

"Well, he just kind of grew on me, you know? I know he liked you at first, and when you weren't interested, we were already friends, and we started spending more time together, and it just sort of happened from that." She looked sheepish. "but it's more of just blowing off steam, being lonely on the ship, not anything serious."

Ryder nodded slowly, "Uh-huh."

"Yeah," Cora said defensively.

"Okay, so let me ask you this, are you spending nights together?"

She nodded yes.

"And are you spending most of your spare time off duty together, like eating together, going out on shore leave together?"

"Well, yeah."

"Are either of you with anybody else?"

"No."

"Is it a secret?"

"No. I just didn't say anything to you before because I knew you were going through so much with Jaal."

"Thank you for your sensitivity, and you're in a relationship." Ryder sat back and popped a snack in her mouth.

"No I'm not."

"I'm not saying anything bad. Why wouldn't you go for something serious?"

"He's not like my first choice, he can be pretty annoying, you know? And, I don't know. He's not the type I ever saw myself with long-term. He's kind of young, too. Impulsive." Cora ran her fingers through her short blonde hair.

"Sounds like he's a good compliment to you, like you guys bring out the best in each other. You were drawn together for a reason. I saw how much your face lit up when you got that message on your omni-tool." Ryder pointed at her, "And you can be pretty annoying yourself too, you know."

Cora looked shocked, "That's not true."

"Oh yes it is, I swear, if I had a credit for every time you uttered the phrase 'Asari huntress,' I could retire."

Cora opened her mouth in shock and protest, but could only say, "I don't talk about it that much!"

"Well, not any more, now it's all about Liam." Ryder grinned at her.

"That's it, I'm taking my snacks back." Cora grabbed for the bag.

Ryder let her take it, "Go ahead, it's all gone."

Cora peered down into it, "Oh shit, you really did."

Seeing her expression she asked, "Why, is that a problem?"

Cora looked up with a worried look, "Um, it can give you stomach upset if you eat that much. It's Angaran snacks, after all."

Ryder sighed, "Oh great. Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know you were going to eat that much. You'd better see Dr. T'Perro."

"Are you serious?"

Cora nodded, "With your food allergies, you'd better."

Ryder grunted as she got up off the couch, "Okay, I'll go over to medbay." She looked at her watch, it was late, but Lexi should still be up.

"Sorry about that Ryder,"

She laughed, "Don't worry about it. I enjoyed it. Thanks for coming over and helping me feel better. And – I'm happy for you and Liam." They walked towards the door and out to the walkway. As Cora reached up for the ladder, Ryder asked her, "Just one question, do you sit on his couch?"

Cora scrunched up her face, "That filthy thing? No way. He's pretty much moved into my quarters."

Ryder chuckled and headed over to medbay. The doors opened, and as she thought, she found Dr. T'Perro hunched over her computer. "Ryder, what can I do for you?" she looked up at her bleary-eyed.

"I ate nearly a whole bag of Angaran snacks Cora brought, and she said I should come see you so I don't spend the entire day tomorrow in the latrine."

"I see. Well, are those the same snacks Jaal brought us last week?"

"Yes."

Dr. T'Perro pursed her lips, "Oh, that will be a problem, especially for you. I have something I think will take care of that." She pulled a drawer out, then another, "Yes, here it is." She took Ryder's arm and pulled her sleeve up, giving her a shot. "That will do it. If you have any GI upset in the morning, come back and I'll give you another one." She went back to her computer.

"Thanks, Lexi." She pulled her sleeve back down and jumped off the table. "I didn't see you out on Aya today."

"No, too much work to be done."

Ryder eyed her critically, "Maybe you should take my advice about Drack."

Dr. T'Perro stood up suddenly from her desk, "I did. Actually."

"Oh, good." Ryder said.

"No, not good actually." Lexi crossed her arms, "I told him how I felt, that I wanted to be with him. He accused me of making fun of him at first, then when I convinced him I was sincere, he laughed, then got serious and told me I was way off base. He's hardly said two words to me since."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. I didn't think he would react like that." Ryder could see the pain in her face.

"It was one of the worst events in my life. I wish I'd never said anything at all. I should have gone with my instincts and not said anything."

"Fuck, Lexi, I can't apologize enough," Ryder shook her head.

"Oh, I don't blame you, I'm the one who decided to say something, and what to say. I suppose," she laughed bitterly, "I had delusions that he felt that way about me too, maybe just enough for something to grow from it. Unfortunately, I was wrong."

Ryder leaned against the med table, "What exactly did he say?" she held her hand out, "Unless you don't want to talk about it."

"No, it's okay, you're the only one who knows anything about it. He said he was too old, and I was just infatuated with him, interested in him as an old relic I could study. When I told him that wasn't true, he said he would never," she started to choke up and took a moment to breathe deep and collect herself. "He said he would never be with an Asari." She looked down.

"Lexi, I'm so sorry." Ryder couldn't believe Drack could be so harsh.

"I started to cry, unfortunately, I had held it together until then, and he stormed out. It was horrendous."

"When did that happen?"

"Last week."

"Oh Lexi." She reached out and gave her a hug. "Men suck." She could feel her crying turn to chuckling.

"Yes, I agree." She wiped her eyes, "Things haven't been too good for you and Jaal, then?"

Ryder shook her head no. "Pretty shitty."

"I'm sorry." She cocked her head to the side, "we'll just have to pour ourselves into our work, I suppose."

"Already there, Lexi."

Lexi nodded, and bid Ryder good night as she left.


End file.
